V Lucid Engagements
by Kyeian
Summary: We all make mistakes, mine were just worse...a failure of communication, a failure of logic...a failure of a friend. My mistakes were crucial, do I even deserve a second chance? I suppose now is the time to find out. Part five of The Great Escape.-COMPLET
1. Reflection of Your Eyes

**Reflection of Your Eyes**

I couldn't help my smirk as I moved from Acton's office. I'd been sure, during the first few days of the change over from the Healing Center, that they were going to set me up with _him_ instead of Lucien. It'd bugged me, because Acton's stiff and formal manner was far from putting me at ease. Actually...as much as I'd rather not remember it, it reminded me of when I was young.

That thought took the smile from my face, and even dampened the petty little happiness I'd been experiencing.

There'd been a man like Acton training me...and that training in and of itself would be the failure of meetings with him. _That_ man had hit me for showing emotions.

I moved back toward my room, studying the floor and blanking out my mind. I'd have to tell Lucien about that memory, which I didn't want to do, and why didn't I want to do it? ...because it made me remember.

I pulled out my little notebook and scribbled the notes into it, wondering again why I did it in Japanese. Lucien had asked me after I'd first shown him the thing, and I still didn't have an answer for it. My _thoughts_ were in English, it'd make more sense to me if the natural flow of my writing was in the same language. He'd told me to think about it, and to let him know when I figured it out.

I'd met with Acton twice after they'd set me up with Lucien, and both times I'd managed to piss him off...it had actually started the first time I'd met him. I'd had a day of talking to both men, and whatever I'd said had bugged the shit out of the guy...which had made him bug the shit out of me.

Anyway, Lucien had asked me to keep a journal of things I did during the day, and why I did them. It'd been hard to remember to do the first week, but it was definitely easier now. By the end of the month, it had only been three weeks, it'd probably be simplicity itself. By that point I'd probably write down what I _wanted_ to do and why before I did it.

Of course...that was only if being cut off from Nat would...if I could deal with it. It was already getting hard and it'd only been four days. Lucien didn't exactly appreciate me talking to the woman, and let me know it, but he never said for me not to do it...so he'd probably be happy that she'd lost phone access the day Duo left.

The thought of Duo sent a curl of guilt and nausea through my stomach, and I moved even quicker toward my room. I was expected there.

I wanted to get _out_ of all of this so I could go home to my girl...go back to where it was warm...to the rain. I missed the rain...and I couldn't stand not being able to get ahold of the base to be sure things were ready for the yearly flooding. Our base in Brazil...our...my.

My stomach churned again.

I'd made Duo stay with me at that base in the middle of the Amazon jungle. I'd kept him cowed and under my control for almost three years before he'd run away from me. I'd searched for him for about six months before he'd managed to get into Manaus, the nearest city to my base. From there, he'd worked it around to claim sanctuary from the United States government, since his birth colony was from that land.

He'd also, evidently, taken a wife in that time period, and now they had a son...and the only reason I ever got to talk to him was because he was _letting_ me talk to my girlfriend.

I turned down the final hall and moved into my room as the sentry up the way looked at me curiously. I normally nodded to him, but I wasn't feeling social, so I pretended not to notice him and closed the door behind me.

It wasn't like I was in a true military compound. This particular center was for soldiers, and because it was known that it was a soldier-used facility, they had guards posted in the halls. There were probably three on duty in the building, plus one in the office itself...and I'd found out that the one in the hall where my room happened to be...didn't _happen_ to be a coincidence. At the times when I was supposed to be in my room, he couldn't see me _leave_ my room. He'd reported on me when I hadn't gone directly back and Lucien had asked me very politely to let him know if I wanted to wander the halls.

That was one thing about the Healing Center that I'd liked; and that had also been the thing that had given Trowa his opportunity to run. We'd been allowed to be anywhere in the fairly small compound as long as we got to our appointments on time.

Lucien had suggested at one point that we'd get there, but I had my doubts about it...at least any time soon.

And Duo had left the village, and it'd been about four days since I'd gotten to _talk_ to Natalie, and if I couldn't get ahold of my money or get a message to Wufei, there was no telling how much longer it'd be before I could talk to her again.

I dropped on my bed and leaned forward to cover my face with my hands.

It was so damn _lonely_...Wufei had come in to see me twice, and probably would later in the week...but I didn't even have Quatre anymore since he was _living_ with Wufei now.

Why couldn't I do that? Lucien had said something about being ready when I'd asked, but it had been all but unintelligible, and he'd probably meant it to be exactly that way.

When I was ready seemed to be their mantra. When I was ready I could wander the halls, when I was ready I could make phone calls, when I was ready...I could leave...

I wasn't entirely sure how _they_ would know if **_I_** was ready, but evidently they could read minds.

I dropped myself irritably backwards onto the mattress, staring up at the plain ceiling. The room was unadorned, and _until I was ready_ it was probably unadorn_able_.

I groaned quietly to myself and flopped over to write the thought processes in my little notebook, then thought about another way to get the thoughts out. I'd never been one to keep a log...a journal. It would have been stupid of me to keep a record of myself when I was supposed to be able to disappear without a trace. I didn't seem to need that particular skill anymore, so I didn't need to keep myself un-traceable...right?

It took me a long time to finally reassure myself that it was, in fact, an all right thing to do. I'd been given a handful of notebooks to entertain myself as I would, and had set the things on the bookshelf and then had proceeded to forget they existed...but a journal might help me get out the stress? Wasn't that how it worked?

Of course, if I wrote in my little notebook that I'd started a journal, he'd ask after the damn thing and probably read through _it_, and that wasn't an appreciable disruption of privacy...so I'd put in a half-truth and admit to writing my thoughts out.

- -

It had taken _three_ days to get the damn visa...and Duo _still_ wasn't entirely sure _why_ a woman he generally disliked was being flown back to London from _his_ wallet...

Actually, that wasn't entirely true. He wasn't settled with leaving the Amazon basin like that. Heero may have been a monster, but he was genuinely trying to get the help he needed, and cutting him off from his girlfriend was an unnecessary cruelty, especially after she'd suffered six months of having no idea where the man she loved was. He hadn't been able to come up with a way to circumvent it, being _in_ the village, but as they'd made their way through the non-roadways toward Manaus, he'd realized that he'd have just bought her a phone and had his driver take it back out to her.

There was no point dwelling on it, though, because they were disembarking from the plane, and even though the scenario in his head of sending her directly back to Brazil with a cell phone and a pat on the head was amusing to him, it wasn't even remotely realistic.

He'd spent two weeks in the village his wife had been married into for her first marriage. She and her brother had both married into the thing, but Nassaiya's first husband had died a few years before Duo'd showed up. He'd spent about five months in that village before finally finding out he was even _in_ Brazil—Heero was a bastard—and then escaping to an American embassy. From there he'd been set up in London, working as a government official under Hilde Schbleiker. She was the European Sphere leader, and worked to further cooperation between the different European nations, and how they interfaced with the Earthsphere as a whole. It hadn't taken him terribly long to get his wife pregnant, and the first year had mostly passed dealing with that...not that the phrasing suited his mind.

The second year had been work and kids and family, they'd been very happy for all of it...and then Wufei had shown up. Wufei had been fine, and Duo'd even wanted to see the man again. Trowa, however, had brought Heero and Quatre on his heels, knowing full well that even though Wufei had been searching in silence for two years, that he'd finally _found_ Duo. It had all finally climaxed in Duo seeing Heero up the street and all but panicking and running. The entire ordeal had ended in a brawl between them in the rain, Nas pissed, and Vasu very confused at the mixed message he was getting...actually, what it had really ended in was realizing that Quatre had disappeared earlier in the day.

That night had been long and cold, searching for the pilot, who was having hallucinations and war flashbacks as he wandered through the rain.

They'd all gotten grabbed for therapy, and while Wufei wasn't a danger to himself or the general public, the same couldn't have been said for the rest. Quatre had been fairly promptly medicated, and was, last Duo knew, taking his medication regularly. Something had come up—on the day he and his wife had headed with their children to Brazil—where Trowa had disappeared. There hadn't been any news from him since, but the issue had led to Wufei accidently setting a lynch-mob on the people who were supposed to be helping Heero and Quatre. This, in turn, had led to Quatre getting out to live with Wufei while Heero went to a different and soldier-run facility.

He'd been there...well, the third week was starting, as far as Duo could figure...and his own situation wasn't getting any better.

At least the boys liked Natalie.

The little family and their guest reached their minivan, and Duo popped the trunk.

So are you renting this? Natalie asked in quiet Portuguese.

No, we own it, Nassaiya returned with a grin.

Mom has a cute little car, Vasu informed the woman happily, mimicking the general stance of his mother when she said the same words...it was something of a happy dance that was mainly just her shoulders...damn cute on the woman, and cute in a different way for their son.

Vasu, Nas protested, grinning at him.

He grinned happily back at her, then moved around to help his father with the luggage.

That's...scary, Natalie muttered.

You get used to it, Nassaiya reassured her.

It had been because of Natalie that Duo'd had to run. He'd been living in Nassaiya's village taking care of her and her first son, Vasu, as well as a few other widows. Natalie was the sister of Indra and Narsi, and it had been Indra who had initially saved Duo from being caught when he'd run. It had been the siblings and their mother that he'd lived with. Nat had worked in the base where Heero had been keeping him, and as far as she understood the situation, Heero simply missed Duo to the point of depression...which he figured was true enough, but the dark side of the situation was how Duo'd been _treated_ there, why he'd run...

He smiled slightly at his wife as she strapped the two-year-old into his car seat and dug out one of his familiar toys from the seat in front of him. He was excited to get ahold of it, and Natalie hesitated uncertainly, not sure where she would sit once she was in.

You sit by the baby, Duo muttered to her, helping Vasu with the biggest of the bags. Thanks, son.

Vasu smiled proudly at him, then turned to bounce back to the car.

Hold on, cowboy, Duo muttered, pushing the empty cart at him, then pointed at the cart return a few rows up.

Ah, Dad... Vasu started.

Fine, we won't have pizza for supper, Duo retorted.

We're _not_ having pizza for supper, Nassaiya grumped, turning to give him a look.

Yes, we are, Duo stuck his tongue out at her and pulled his phone out.

Nas started laughing and slapped a hand to her face.

Come on, Duo muttered, gesturing with his head at Natalie, who was playing with the baby.

Why? Nas retorted. She's _had_ pizza.

No, Duo gave her an amused look. That's not what I mean. She's going to want to go see Heero. If we have pizza it'll upset her stomach so she's not there long. He was saying all of this in English...Nat didn't speak much of the language.

His wife gave him an incredulous look in return. She wasn't entirely sure he didn't mean just that.

Duo started laughing, slamming the cargo-door closed as he put his phone away.

He didn't really mean it.

Go, he ordered Vasu in a firm tone.

The boy groaned and turned to run the thing to the racks.

What are we having? he added as he moved toward the driver's seat.

I don't know, she grumbled, leaning up to kiss him as he passed. We'll have to go to the store...unless I have some meat frozen.

Mm, we'll have to look when we get home. That's fine, though, because I still have to call Wufei and see what's going on.

With what? she demanded blankly. You're not getting involved with that Trowa stuff, are you?

Duo gave her a severely level look. She believed that Wufei was fine, and Quatre _might_ be okay now that he'd been medicated, but Trowa and Heero were wastes of time and space.

Duo wasn't entirely sure he didn't agree with that, but they had fought in the wars together. It wasn't that simple...it wasn't black and white.

At any rate, he more meant he needed the information the press would probably hound him on before he was caught in public. The repeated no comment response didn't bolster the opinion of the masses and usually meant that it was bad or getting worse.

Duo hadn't seen any references to the pilots on the flight home, and considering how long that was, it meant that things were calm, but as soon as someone with a camera and mic saw him, it'd probably get stirred up.

You've been in a car before, haven't you? Duo teased Natalie as he slid into the driver's seat and looked back to the woman.

Haha, she retorted, giving him a look.

He laughed again himself, looking out as his son came running back from his errand and Nas slid into the passenger's seat. It only took Vasu a moment to be in the vehicle with the door closed, ducking to the back bench.

I can't wait to get home, he noted, dropping down. I like the village and had a lot of fun there, but I missed my bed and my friends here. They aren't going to believe this...

Duo grinned slightly, shaking his head. After driving through the jungle to get into Manaus, they'd gone through all sorts of layers of crap to get the visa for Natalie to go with them to London. In the end, Duo'd had to pull his own weight to get them to wave the time limit the damn thing had. It'd taken a while, and the woman would be staying with them.

He didn't really _like_ Natalie...this was insane.

Duo grinned slightly to himself as he reversed.

Strange, how life works...Duo'd been insanely mistreated by the group, and specifically by the man he was working so hard to help. He'd delayed his home trip for three days for the woman, he'd forked over the money for her identification needs, her flight needs, and they'd be feeding and clothing her until she got her own job. It wasn't like the money was a serious problem. Duo made plenty and Nas had her own job...it was more the effort he was putting out to help the woman.

He wasn't entirely sure he wouldn't have left her behind if his wife hadn't spoken up...and he wasn't entirely sure he was okay with that.

- -

Trowa yawned as he moved through the airport with his head down and Amelia's hand in his. Their whole falling-in-love thing had been severely interrupted when he'd told her the truth about who he was.

For some reason, being told that he was _really_ Trowa Barton and _not_ Paul Kendrick had bugged her. She hadn't entirely appreciated the fact that he was so randomly _in_ India because he was running from the government to skip out on therapy...it'd taken him a day or two to talk her back into going with him to London.

At any rate, she wasn't entirely sure she was okay with him anymore, but at the same time she didn't want to be without him. He had promised her he'd set up an account for her after they'd arrived, and to prove it, he'd given her the money for a ticket in case she freaked out on him. Their relationship was about...two weeks old. Doubts about the serious change in their set-up were perfectly all right.

When I go turn myself in, he said quietly, pulling her up to his side, I might have to stay a night or two at the unit.

She frowned at that.

I know, he soothed. First I'm going to Wufei's. We'll get settled in there, and once I'm sure you're settled in...tomorrow morning, I'll go in tomorrow morning, all right?

She nodded, still not looking very happy.

Your English is pretty good, right? he added as they swept through the busy port toward the luggage claim.

She shrugged slightly. It's not the best...but I think I'll be all right.

I don't know if Quatre or Wufei _know_ Hindi, is all, he explained. You know Chinese or something, right?

She nodded.

All right, Chinese was Wufei's first language...and I'm pretty sure Quatre knows it...

I'm still really nervous about this, she muttered, moving closer to his side. This is scary to me.

I'm sorry, he muttered, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead. I feel horrible...but I honestly didn't think we'd be more than a night or two.

Ass, she muttered, smacking him in the side.

I'm sorry, he repeated, smiling at her as he pulled away to start walking again. She followed, her hand still tightly in his.

I still think this is strange, she noted as they stepped onto an escalator. Doesn't it seem strange to you?

Not particularly, Trowa refuted. This is one of my skills...the whole disappearing thing. The coming back part is sort of strange, so I suppose I can't really just refuse my understanding.

She giggled slightly at that, and he figured he'd flubbed up the grammar on top of odd phrasing anyway.

Paul? she said quietly as they started for the belt things.

Mm? he returned, realizing that he was scanning for the authorities and forcing himself to stop.

What if it's more than a few days? she asked quietly.

He looked out the wall of windows toward the pick-up and drop-off traffic, shaking his head slightly. As soon as I know for sure what they'll do, I'll let you know...I'll make sure they tell Wufei my status and everything...so you can go home.

She blinked at him.

I won't ask you to wait for me if that happens, he explained, meeting her eyes again. I don't think that would be fair. I'm sure Wufei will show you the tourist attractions...he'll take you to the eye or whatever it's called...you can see the parliament building and that clock...I'm sure he'll be fine with that...and then you can leave.

What if I don't want to? she asked, looking for her bag with interest since the mechanical thing was already moving.

That's entirely up to you, he retorted, grinning slightly to himself. I said I wouldn't ask you to stay, I didn't say I'd ask you to leave.

She snorted at that happily, then dived between a pair of males to pull his bag out. That's mine! she squeaked when it went beyond her reach...and since she was a very pretty woman, several men instantly hopped-to to give her assistance.

Trowa grinned slightly, moving the opposite direction to see if he could see her bag.

He really _liked_ Amelia.

- -

Peach...Wufei really _liked_ peach...he liked the color, he liked the taste...the smell...but mainly the taste of that lip-gloss.

He kissed Juki again, enjoying her personal scent mixed with the scent of the fruit.

Mm, she muttered, smiling slightly as she brushed her lips across his throat. Guess what?

Hm? Wufei returned, toying with the end of her long black hair. It was mostly down now, aside from a comb securing it at the back of her head...

I got an offer today, she explained, pulling back slightly to look up at him with evilly dancing brown eyes.

An offer for what? Wufei retorted, wondering what it would be this time. She'd evidently had offers to be a model, a mistress, a designer...and a firefighter. Her boyfriend wasn't entirely sure he believed all of it, but at the same time she was a geisha, and hence was very good at distracting any male off any topic. He knew for a fact how easy it was to offer her silly little things...

To be my donna, she returned.

...and _that_ was probably serious.

Wufei pulled away to meet her eyes properly.

She started laughing delightedly.

I'll buy your damn kimonos, thank you, Wufei protested at her...which made her giggle even more. I'll even buy your damn make-up...you told him, didn't you?

She couldn't help her laughter a few more moments, then burrowed back into his warm arms. Yes, I did.

What? Wufei asked, stopping slightly. She'd always brushed off his jealousy before, and she always had that same giggle when she did it.

I told him that this was from you, she noted, pulling away slightly to display the design of her kimono to him. And I told him this was from you, she added, touching the hair-thing he'd gotten her. And he was very disappointed and asked what brand this was, she flicked the skirt bit.

Wufei blinked down at her.

She smiled sweetly, leaning up to kiss him again...sweet peach... You thought I was teasing you again, she noted, but I wasn't.

He pulled her to him tightly, nuzzling her hair as he thought about that.

She...was serious. She'd seriously told someone that he was her donna...holy shit.

Mother told me I was foolish...until I told her that this _is_ a Aoyuki...then she blinked and asked how much of the profit went to the house. She was annoyed when she realized you were my boyfriend, though.

He smiled slightly at that, kissing her temple as he noticed the clock in the corner of the room. I need to get back home, he noted. You sure you don't want to move in with me?

We can talk about it at the beginning of next month, she reminded him pointedly. I told you...

You can't _move_ until next month, he shot back. That doesn't mean you can't consent to mov_ing_.

She smiled, kissing him again. The last relationship I was in that ended up with me moving in with him was moving way too fast. It was stupid of me to do.

But, Juki, he protested, frowning at this reminder. We've been together for six months...I don't imagine my life without you right now.

Right now, she smacked him in the stomach as she pulled away with her same grin. You're obnoxious.

And you keep coming back for more, he retorted, turning to gather up his coat, then move back to her to kiss her again.

No, you're good sex, she retorted. That's what I come back for.

He flashed her a grin, kissing her once more, then sighed and pulled away. I dare you not to call me for two hours, he muttered.

Three, she retorted. I won't even break a sweat.

He grinned at that, then left her apartment.

He had a feeling he wouldn't even make it _home_ before she called him...not that he minded. That drive was a _long_ ten minutes.

- -

E/N: Not too much to say to this one, mainly that I'm assuming the terms from Arthur Golden's "Memoir's of a Geisha" are correct...at least correct enough for this work of fanfiction, lol. I don't own GW, or any other brand-name that happens to come up. Hope y'all like this. Also, fanfiction may have ate some of my spacing and grammar marks. rarr.


	2. Real Without You

**Real Without You**

I was tired.

It wasn't like I didn't sleep enough...the thought was bitter, and the bitterness carried over. Hell, Lucien had even given me _permission_ to be depressed. He'd told me that many people in situations similar to mine would be. He'd had me go see him after lunch and asked me what I thought of Acton, really. It'd been the only way I was able to tell him about what I'd remembered...

He seemed to understand, which was nice, but I still hated having those breakdowns. Actually, when I managed to start crying, I got agitated. Lucien seemed to prefer that I didn't get in that state...let alone staying in it for an extended amount of time...

Or was this normal?

It was hard to tell what anyone would call normal, and when I brought it up with Lucien he dismissed it as there being no actual "norm" to go by. Each person was different and la-de-da. He didn't comprehend that I meant the human race by-and-large. _I_ wasn't normal on any level...even that level which made a person an individual...and if I ever bothered to say _that_ he'd berate me gently.

I refused to let my mind slide into the logic of "if"...like, "if I could get out of here" or "if I could call Nat..." those thoughts didn't do me an ounce of good. Literally. Allowing my mind to use that compensation would probably make me _say_ the forbidden words to Lucien, and then he'd step in and tell me I needed to _not_ have a girlfriend until _I was **ready**_...

It was hard not to have those bitter thoughts...

The phone buzzed in its irritable fashion that wasn't a ring, meaning the office or something was calling me.

What, were they _checking_ on me?

I snorted irritably and lifted the receiver. "Yeah?"

"Mr. Yuy?" a pleasant woman asked. "Are you decent?"

"Yes?" I returned uncertainly. "Is that a good thing?"

She laughed a happy little laugh. "I only ask because you have visitors."

"Visitors?" I asked, sitting up. That probably meant Wufei and Quatre.

"Yes," she agreed. "Can you come down to the lounge?"

"Um...I need to slide my shoes on, I'll be right down."

"All right, I'll let them know," she sounded like she was smiling.

"Thanks," I muttered, smiling back as I turned the phone off and swung my feet off the bed to pull on my runners. I didn't really _want_ runners, but Lucien had been concerned about my boots.

For all that I bitched about him a lot, he was _damn_ helpful to me. I really needed to stop being so ungrateful...

I bounced off the bed and out the door, hearing the tail end of a message over the soldier's walkie-talkie...probably telling him I was heading up front. I smiled slightly at the guy as I passed, making sure my mannerisms didn't further betray my excitement.

It was good...on a day like this, a bad day, it was nice to have someone from outside the center to talk to...

"I'm just so nervous..."

That voice wasn't...that _couldn't_ be Natalie...

My heart fluttered in my chest and I focused intently on the female voice. The end of the hall had a chest-high blockade with a planter of fake flowers on top. The lounge itself had the same barricade from the entry-way that ran along the front of the building. The wall on either side went all the way down with windows into the lounge area and the office, which was on the right.

"Don't be," Duo reassured the female without missing a beat. "We can't stay long, you know."

"I know..."

"Natalie?" I shouted, darting for the entrance and being held up by the door handle...which I couldn't open... "Nat?!"

"Mr. Yuy!" the male office worker muttered, darting out to me quickly. "Please, hold on just a moment..."

"Hurry up," I ordered, smacking the door irritably as I tried to see through the small anteroom into the lounge room. "Nat?!"

"You need to calm down," he ordered me firmly, stopping completely.

I really wanted to _deck_ the man...if that _was_ Natalie...

I forced myself to stop moving entirely, watching him with my eyes. His manner changed to nervous as he took out his key-card and swiped it. The moment it took for the red light to change to green was an eternity...and I really wanted to just _break_ the damn door. It'd end in multiple flesh wounds, but it'd be faster than waiting for that damn _key_...

"Are you all right?" he asked me quietly as we stopped at the second door, not swiping the card.

"I'm fine," I retorted, trying to keep the irritation from my voice.

"You don't _seem_ fine, Mr. Yuy."

"You're taking too damn long," I snapped back, still trying to see into the main room. I didn't understand why they'd bothered with key-operated doors when all it took to really get out was to hop the blockade at the end of the hall, but if I didn't cooperate at least that much...

"You've made me nervous," he snapped, putting a hand on his hip.

Ooh, if I could only beat the _shit_ out of him...

I narrowed my eyes at him, remaining motionless.

He frowned at that, then swiped the key and started to pull the door open.

There was no way I was waiting for him _now_...I yanked the door from his grasp and slid past him, looking around...to see Duo lounging on the wall-bench in a cocky manner...with the most beautiful woman in the world rising to her feet beside him.

I stopped, staring at her as I noted my chest was heaving...

"Heero!" she muttered, stepping at me nervously.

"Natalie," I muttered in response...and ran to her, pulling her to my chest as I felt tears burn my eyes...and she started crying, clinging to me. "Oh, Nat...I'm so sorry," I whispered, holding her to me tightly and closing my eyes...as tears spilled down my cheeks. "Duo..." I started, swallowing hard as the word came out half-choked. "Duo..."

"You were an absolute bastard to me," Duo cut me off quietly. "You treated me worse than a bitch and had me terrified for four god damn years. What that ends in, Heero, is me not really wanting to _talk_ to you. You understand that?"

I looked away from his eyes.

"I can't understand you," Natalie half whispered, looking back to him. She was speaking Portuguese, and he English. "Speak my language."

"If the words were for you, I would," he said quietly in her tongue, looking back to me. "You understand me, Heero?"

I nodded, dropping my eyes.

"By nature, I'm not a cruel man," Duo added. "You were the last person I wanted to think about when I was in Brazil, but every morning I expected your calls. Every morning I made sure I was in a situation where I could let you talk to her...and I couldn't leave her behind without a phone in good conscience. I haven't forgiven you, Heero," he added, still watching my face intently, not that I could meet his eyes. "I don't know if I will, and I'm not trying to...but I _will_ try to start over. I know you're trying to get the help you need, and that's why I did this," he gestured at Natalie. "She'll be living with me until she can get on her own two feet, and when you're done with this shit," he gestured toward the building, "I don't care what the two of you do. You owe me...big."

I started to open my mouth.

"No," he cut me off—the man from the office was starting to draw himself up. "No," Duo repeated. "I don't mean money, I don't mean endless favors...nothing like that. I want you to take this shit seriously," he gestured toward the walls again. "No rebelling, no...manipulating your psychiatrist. If they want you on meds, you better beg to take those fuckers early...do you understand me?"

I nodded, looking away further.

"You can't..." the man started.

"You don't know me," Duo cut him off, pointing at him as he studied him. "You don't know my story, you don't know my mindset...you don't know what _our_ relationship was," he indicated me. "You can't tell me what I do or don't think, so don't try. You can't tell me what I can or can't do, because I've saved the mother fucking world, and I highly doubt _you_ could manage it...so you just go write this note in your happy little book...and make sure that everyone who'll be here for his duration sees it, because I want to know if he's not cooperating."

The man started to draw himself up.

"Do it."

I jumped hard, turning around to look at the entrance...and Lucien.

Duo receded, studying the man with hard interest.

"So, you're the infamous Mr. Maxwell," Lucien muttered, moving across the room as the man scurried to do his bidding. "And what, pray tell, are _you_ of **_all_** people doing **_here?_**"

Duo gave him a vaguely amused look, then indicated Natalie. "I'm a bigger man."

- -

Trowa knocked on the door again, wondering if he _should_ have called before arriving.

It swung open slowly, and Quatre tilted his head, giving him a quizzical look. It was obvious in his eyes that he had no idea who Trowa was...at first. His eyes widened.

"Shh!" Trowa hissed, darting in and covering his mouth. "I don't want...where's Wufei?"

Quatre mumbled something into his hand.

"What?" Trowa asked blankly, stopping to look at him.

Quatre gave him a _look_.

Trowa laughed nervously, removing his hands and wiping it on his pants. "Sorry."

"He was going over to Juki's," Quatre noted, wiping his own mouth somewhat irritably, then blinked at Amelia.

"Hi," she said happily, pulling their bags into the apartment. "I'm Amelia, and if Trowa gets locked up for more than a week I'm going to seduce you."

Trowa started laughing.

"A week, huh?" Quatre asked considerately, reaching for his cell phone.

"Stop," Trowa muttered, smacking at him and giving the female a look.

She grinned back.

"I'm sorry I didn't warn you," Trowa added to the guy, pulling their bags in properly to close the door. "Wufei said we could take the extra room."

"That's why we got _this_ place," Quatre agreed, gesturing around, then smiled and stepped forward, offering his hand. "I'm Quatre Winner."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Winner," she muttered, shaking it.

He smirked slightly, leaning forward with perfect grace to kiss her knuckles. "Please, call me Quatre, we may as well get familiar now."

Amelia's eyes sparkled.

"I hate you so bad," Trowa muttered, rolling his eyes and moving around the blond to look at the decently sized apartment.

"Why _black?_" Quatre demanded, reaching over to fiddle with his hair.

"That's exactly why," Trowa retorted, moving his head away irritably. "Who'd have thought I'd go black, really?"

"Considering that you can disappear without changing anything," Quatre retorted, "I can see your point."

"You're so witty," Trowa retorted.

"You're smart," Quatre praised him as one would a child, moving closer in a condescending sort of way. "That nice lady taught you things, didn't she?"

"Hahaha," Trowa retorted, giving him a look and moving away.

The door swung open, and everyone stopped to turn and look at it...and Wufei.

The Chinese man was blinking at Amelia.

"I'm Amelia," she explained, extending her hand to him. "I hear you have a girlfriend or I'd have picked you; but since we'll be rooming together and such, I'll ask you not to tell Trowa I'm cheating on him."

Wufei's face split in a wicked grin as he shook her hand. "Anything to assist a lady of such high stature."

She laughed and smacked him gently, playfully.

"I'm Wufei," he added, then looked Trowa up and down with a raised eyebrow.

"I was going to go for the pirate-shirt and leggings, but they wouldn't have let me take the sword through security."

Amelia grinned more.

"Wow," Quatre muttered, looking to Wufei. "You know what? He's all yours."

"You're so kind," Wufei retorted, then kicked Trowa's bag. "Your shit goes there," he pointed at the spare room, then turned to Amelia. "Your stuff will go in that room when Trowa's not looking."

She tilted her head at him. "Is that your room?"

"No," Quatre had his wicked grin again. "It's mine."

"Oh, I see," Amelia gave him a coy sort of look, then turned to Trowa. "Let's go check out our new bed, huh, lover?"

Trowa smirked at her, then looked over her shoulder to Quatre and Wufei with a shrug.

Wufei rolled his eyes and started for the kitchen.

"You told me your English wasn't good," Trowa accused the woman, walking toward the room backwards.

"Good is in the perception," she retorted.

"Kinda like grammar?" he demanded, then laughed wickedly...and the door shut behind them.

Wufei kinda had a feeling he understood why Trowa wanted the woman with him so badly after only two weeks...she was fun, and he'd only talked to her for a couple minutes.

Quatre sighed in mock regret, then shook his head and moved to follow Wufei. "I want to get some fertilizer for my rose," he noted. "And maybe a bigger pot."

"If it's too big we won't be able to move it," Wufei reminded him. "How big are you thinking?"

"It's just for the rose," Quatre retorted, moving around to dig out a cup from a cupboard. "It's not like I want my own garden out there on that balcony."

"Why not?" Wufei demanded sarcastically.

Quatre stopped, actually thinking about that. "You know...it might be..."

Wufei groaned, realizing he'd done it to himself.

"Oh, shut-up," Quatre muttered at him, making a flippant sort of gesture. "I wanted a place with a yard and you got me a balcony. My rose is going to die because of you, and all you can do is groan because _I_ want to go shopping."

Wufei grinned at that, then shrugged and moved for the fridge. He knew he owed it to his friend to accommodate his hobby, but that didn't mean he had to be graceful about it...and he had no intentions of doing any such thing.

- -

E/N: Reviews welcome, I have this mostly written but not entirely...yeah.


	3. Plan B

**Plan B**

I licked my lips slightly as I watched Natalie and Duo moving from the building. Every few feet, Nat would turn to look back at me, but Duo had her hand firmly in his as he led her down the foyer toward the exit. I didn't bother moving until they'd disappeared from the little window that showed a small portion of the parking lot.

I sighed slightly, rubbing my eyes as I turned to lean my back against the divide and looked to the ceiling in thought.

He'd brought her _to_ me...after everything I'd done to him...

I wasn't sure if that was really a good thing. If there was any chance that he was still intimidated by me, he could be doing it to keep me pacified, despite his big words...and that idea was repulsive. I didn't really _see_ it in him, he truly meant his comment about being the bigger man...

I still wasn't sure what it meant to me, though. I couldn't tell if it was an insult or not, and if it was, did I really have the _right_ to take offense to it?

"Well?"

I jumped, straightening to look at Lucien, who was standing in the door to the anteroom. "Yeah?" I asked blankly.

"Are you coming?" Lucien asked, startled.

I really wanted to tell him no, I was just leaving, but ours wasn't a relationship where I could be an ass and not have any consequences. I pushed away from the wall, looking toward the window again as I thought of my little woman...

She'd be singing for Duo to hear now...damn it.

I suppressed the jealous urge as I moved into the anteroom with my therapist.

"Don't take this wrong," he noted, "but we have to pat you down."

"What?" I demanded in disbelief as the door to the lounge closed and locked again. I looked around the small space, trying to come up with a valid protest.

"Did he or that woman give you anything?" he asked me, raising his eyebrows slightly.

"No?" I asked, taken aback.

"No," Lucien corrected me, changing his stance to meet my eyes properly. "Did _he_ or the _woman_ _**give**_ you anything?"

"No," I repeated my comment. "What's this about? You never do this when Wufei comes."

"Mr. Chang doesn't touch your person when he comes," Lucien noted pointedly.

I stared at him in disbelief.

"Its procedure, if you'd put your hands against the wall," he pointed at it.

I turned to look at that as a fear washed through my system that I'd never really felt before...the feeling of being caught with no escape, and the years of concealed weapons all over my person.

"What?" he asked blankly.

"I can't," I muttered, backing away from him warily. _He_ would understand. "I...I feel caught."

"Caught?" he echoed with no emotion.

"Like...like...this room is too small for this...the doors are locked...Lucien..."

"You're not claustrophobic, are you?"

I swallowed, considering my emotions a moment. "No...it's more the search and the locked doors," I met his eyes. "Do we have to?"

"I do," he admitted quietly, not moving from where he was standing. "You trust me, don't you?"

"I do," I admitted, trying to calm myself. "But...can we..."

"If I unlock the door your soldiers training to escape could crop up and you could be gone from me in moments."

"If my training was going to be an issue, you'd be laid out on the floor and I'd have had your key about two seconds after entering," I snapped. "Hell, I wouldn't have even come in."

He frowned at me. "This is an impasse."

I ran a hand down my face, moving away from him to lean against the wall he'd indicated with my back. It was something I needed to do, and the idea of just knocking him out to get out of the room was appealing.

Okay...maybe I _was_ a little claustrophobic...

"Well?" he asked quietly.

"You deal with soldiers all the time," I noted pointedly. "Why don't you have a method for this?"

"Because each person is different," he shrugged slightly. "You scared the hell out of Derek when he was letting you in, so he won't be doing this any more for you...that means Heather or me at this time of night, and if Derek's scared of you, I doubt Heather should be in the picture."

"I resent that," I retorted irritably, glaring at him. "I'm not intending to run or hurt anyone, and I'd probably react better to _her_ in general."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I never had an open female enemy," I adlibbed.

"Is that true?" he demanded.

I grinned slightly at that, realizing I could be okay with him patting me down. "I don't know, actually...I just know that women don't set off my instincts so much."

"Ah, sweet poison," he muttered, crossing his arms.

I grinned at that, then composed myself properly and turned to put my hands on the wall.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Just do it," I snapped. "While we're joking."

"Right," he muttered, moving toward me.

I really wanted to attack him, but I knew that to be the battle stress, or PTSD...or whatever my problem was aside from being dehumanized as a teen...and I had enough control of my own body to keep myself locked in the position while he did his job.

"Why was it alarming that I suggested this?" he asked curiously. "I didn't think Mr. Maxwell would have slipped you anything, let alone the lady...you could be back in your room already."

"Did you ever fight in the wars?" I asked, turning at the pressure on my arm.

"No," he muttered, not meeting my eyes. "I've had the desk jobs of this all. I almost got called out to the suits at one point, but no, no fighting."

"I did, a lot," I shrugged slightly, looking toward the far side of the room. "Every time I was caught they patted me down and took away my weapons. I'm by no means helpless on my own, but when facing the forces in those buildings, a firearm of some sort is preferable."

"You don't have any weapons though," he protested.

"Not here," I agreed as he moved back to meet my eyes. "I know I don't and if I did I wouldn't carry it around...but that's not the point. You know my situation. I'm not here precisely by my own choice."

"Unfortunately, there have been some problems," he agreed. "If left unchecked, they could snowball into something horrible."

"Yes," I noted dryly, "I'm aware that my treatment of my former comrade was fucked up...I'm working on why, though."

"Why was it wrong that you beat him?" he asked me curiously.

"On a level, yes," I studied his eyes. "I didn't expect anything of him."

"And you didn't let him _do_ anything," he tilted his head at me. "And if he crossed you, you let him know it."

My stomach churned with the same feelings of guilt. "I don't understand why he didn't...stand up...for himself," I half asked him quietly.

"The situation," he said in his gentle way as he studied my eyes, "was beyond his understanding. I haven't pressed you on it, but from some of those stories, he didn't know you were in Brazil..."

My mind offered me an instant replay of pouring the tranq into the drink I was taking him and the desperate fear of him leaving me.

"...and I think if I actually got the information from you, there might be some...legal...issues attached."

I nodded slightly, looking away.

"Do you know why he says he's the bigger man?"

"No," I looked down.

"Hm," he muttered, turning to swipe his key. "Did they make any plans of returning?"

"She said she'd see me tomorrow," I agreed, perking up slightly at that information. "Tomorrow after he gets off work."

"And where does he work?"

I almost opened my mouth to reply casually...but realized that I didn't know anymore than he had dealings with Hilde.

He studied my face a moment as we moved into the hall, then he started in stride with me up the hall. "I'll be sure to ask him exactly. What do you really think of him bringing her? She was in Brazil, right?"

I nodded, thinking about it. "At this point, I'm just too grateful that he did it to be able to get to the reasoning behind it...but he did tell me over the phone before to tell Wufei he was the bigger man...do _you_ know why he's saying it?"

"I have a fair idea," he shrugged slightly. "I won't tell you, I'm sure you can reason it out if you let yourself...but I don't suggest you hasten to make that discovery."

"All right," I capitulated, looking down the hall as we passed it. I'd done it to the other few we'd walked as well. "Being caught is hard," I changed back to the original topic. "They can kill you if they catch you."

"Is that the root of the issue?"

"I think so," I shrugged as we passed another hall and I hesitated as I saw a person—it was another soldier on post, and he returned my look emotionlessly. "Though that room being all closed up is kind of freaky...so I might be a bit claustrophobic."

"Interesting notion for someone who pilots a mobile suit."

"Piloted," I corrected as we neared my room. "It's not war time, and my duty isn't precisely active...and unless I absolutely have to, I doubt I'll ever get into another suit again. I hate the stock models. If I have to fight in a MS, I'd rather it be a Gundam."

"The gundams were all destroyed, Mr. Yuy," he reminded me.

"I know," I agreed, meeting his eyes. "But Winner proved that they can be made with reasonable speed."

He blinked at me.

I smiled slightly at him, offering my hand as we stopped outside my room. "If I was an ass earlier, I apologize. This situation...is stress," I looked the halls over. "It was even worse earlier thinking I may not see Nat again for months. I intend to follow through on my promise to Duo. I'll try to contain my temper, but considering the sorts of things that we'll probably end up having to do to fix me, I'm sure you'll be well tried by the end of it."

He considered my eyes a long moment, then shook my offered hand. "What kinds of things do you think?"

"I imagine hypnosis," I returned, considering it. "Association tests...and telling you more of what I remember as I remember it. I think we'll have to find where in my development I even was when they started the retraining. I'm apt to start acting like some snot-nosed teen on you when we get there."

"And nothing of your childhood?" he demanded skeptically.

"I wasn't mistreated in my childhood," I shrugged, thinking back. "I was fairly happy as a child, if disconnected from the reality of an assassin. It wasn't until Odin died that things started to go wrong."

"I think you'll have me against the wall," he noted considerately, studying my eyes. "You understand a little too much of psychological issues and the root of things for this to be easy. I don't think it'd be beyond you to deceive me entirely."

I thought about that a moment, then shook my head. "Duo said we could try to start again," I met his eyes. "As five, we're invincible...but alone we could fall. We're safe as five, we prevail as five."

"You won't be five again until Mr. Barton has been found."

"I think Mr. Barton will come back on his own," I retorted, raising an eyebrow slightly at him. "I don't think he's a danger to society."

"He was having war flashbacks," Lucien protested.

"I doubt it," I shook my head, leaning against my door with my hand on the handle. "Trowa is an apathetic bastard. If anyone _presumes_ to give him orders he doesn't react the way most people would. If that guy seriously tried to pull _rank_ on him, then the response he got was disbelieving annoyance."

"So you're fairly certain he's fine?"

"We all should have had counseling from the start," I retorted. "I didn't want to deal with it and Quatre learned to not want it because of that...Trowa won't deal with anyone unless it's on his terms...and Wufei tried to get us that help."

"You don't note Duo in that line-up," he noted.

I looked to the floor, feeling my gut wrench.

I hadn't considered him an independent. I had no idea if he'd ever wanted counseling or not...and I didn't let him talk to any authority because I knew he'd be able to get himself taken out of our base.

"Mm?" Lucien asked, considering my expression. "What did you realize?"

"Duo wasn't independent," I explained, not meeting his eyes when I raised my head. "I considered him dependant on me...and knew he could get himself out."

"So, on some level you knew that was wrong?"

I met his eyes, considering them a long moment before looking away again. "He tried to leave...when we were still in China...I didn't let him."

"You didn't let him?" he echoed.

"Hm," I returned, not wanting to go into it as I turned my bedroom door open. "I've told you before that I didn't let him and I always say the same thing to that question. I needed him with me and I can do anything once I set my mind to it. I don't think my telling you the start of the instances will actually get us anywhere. It will piss you off and make me feel even guiltier than I already do. I can do that bit on my own. What we _can_ focus on is that I was able to cow him, and once I had that hold over him I didn't let it go."

"You don't get to decide the terms," he said quietly to me.

"Then ask Duo what happened," I suggested, meeting his eyes again. "I'm sick to my stomach to think about it and since it's causing me a physical reaction I'm not going to think about it."

He narrowed his eyes at me.

"If you'll excuse me," I noted, moving properly into my room. "It's late and I'm tired."

"Of course," he agreed darkly, stepping back from the door. "Sleep well."

"Thanks, you too," I returned, meeting his eyes...then shut the door. I waited until he'd walked away, then moved to drop into a ball on my bed.

When he'd tried to leave, it'd made me angry and I'd hit him. I'd realized then and there that I was stronger than him and could _keep_ him with me...and I'd realized that if he didn't know where we were and couldn't speak the language, he'd be less apt to run...or I'd thought he would be. I hadn't even considered the idea of him being _able_ to learn a language by pure immersion...

Why didn't he understand that I just wanted him with me? Why didn't he realize that I hadn't expected him to do anything? I'd thought I was giving him a life of leisure, and that when he'd gotten quiet he'd just settled down.

It was sickening to realize that it was just fear...the fact that I did that to another man and the fact that he...that Duo _Maxwell_ was insecure enough in himself to...let?

Let wasn't even remotely the right word, was it?

I curled more into a ball as my stomach churned, wondering if I could actually work myself up to puking with this guilt...how long it might _take_ to work myself up to puking...

Would it even _help_ to puke?

I doubted it...I just needed to sleep. I'd have to answer for being rude to Lucien in the morning...and hopefully I hadn't offended him too much...but...

Iuh...

I slid off the bed to sit on the floor and wrap my arm around my mouth and face, starting to rock myself a bit.

Thank god I had a bathroom in my room.

- -

"Hey, Fei..." Duo greeted the Chinese man when he'd answered his cell. "What's going on?"

"Oh, that's right, you're back," Wufei noted happily. "How are you? How was the trip?"

"It was tolerable," Duo admitted, considering it. "Heero called every morning, though."

Wufei wasn't sure what to say to that a long moment. "Well...have you considered...I mean...he's trying, you know?"

"Don't try to reason with me," Duo shot back. "Or I might get pissed that you didn't do anything to help me."

"You're a grown man and can help yourself," Wufei said in a dark tone. They'd talked on the matter in the past, and Duo hadn't gotten to the point of acceptance of the situation where he'd admit he'd _needed_ to save himself, and Wufei refused to budge on his point of it all.

It wasn't like there was anything he could do about it. Trowa and Quatre complicated things enormously when un-medicated...well, Quatre did. Trowa probably didn't need any meds, but he was probably a sociopath, which was bad enough.

"Eh..." Duo shook his head as he pulled into the grocery store's parking lot. "I just need to know what to tell any press I might run into."

"It'll be resolved enough in the morning, and at that point you'll know what to say."

"Come again?" Duo asked blankly, sliding from the car with Nat.

"I don't want to talk about it," Wufei dismissed. "You wanna come over tonight?"

"Not really, we only got in this evening and it's late now..."

"Aren't you home?"

"No," Duo returned, starting for the store. "I just went to Baen."

Wufei stopped, that was the short name of the facility. "You went to see Heero?"

"Not exactly," Duo noted, holding the door open for Natalie to enter. "I wasn't the one there to see him."

Wufei reasoned that one out as Quatre moved in from the balcony, rubbing his arms. "I don't understand..."

"I brought her back with me, Wufei," Duo said quietly, grabbing up a basket. "I couldn't leave her behind."

"You brought the song bird?" Wufei demanded, meeting eyes with Quatre in disbelief. "You actually _brought_ her from the basin?"

"Yeah," Duo agreed, running the basket carefully over the top of some flowers on display. "Yeah, I did." His voice was nearly inaudible as he realized he didn't know what he expected as a response to the news.

Wufei didn't know what to say, either.

"He _brought_ her?" Quatre demanded in disbelief. "You're joking, right?"

"We're at the store," Duo added, regaining some voice. "I'm gonna have to let you go so I can call my wife. I don't remember what all we needed, and if I brought home the bacon she might think it funny enough...but I wouldn't hear the end of it for forgetting that we need milk."

"You're not that good at lying," Wufei noted quietly, smiling slightly.

"I'm not exactly trying to lie," Duo returned. "I wanted you to know that I was doing my part."

"That's beyond your part," Wufei corrected quietly, looking out the back window toward the night-lit city. "I don't know how to react to it, it's so far beyond what you owe him."

"Should we say I owe her?"

"No," Wufei denied. "She's the one that ratted out your hiding place."

Duo laughed a little at that, looking around the store with unseeing eyes. "I'll come over tomorrow. The boys want to see you."

"Yeah," Wufei agreed quietly. "All right."

"Yeah," Duo agreed distantly, almost saying a few more things as words escaped him. He pulled the phone away from his ear, studying it a moment, then closed it and looked around to see Natalie smelling a tulip.

"What, now?" Trowa asked, moving from his and Amelia's room with the female not far behind.

"Duo brought Natalie," Wufei explained, closing the phone and tucking it away as he met Trowa's eyes. "He brought her, and they were just at Baen."

Trowa stared at him in disbelief.

"What?" Amelia asked curiously, looking between the three of them. "Why does that mean so much?"

"Because," Trowa said quietly, looking toward the back window. "None of us did right by Duo, and Heero did worst of all. Suffice it to say that the most anyone should expect of Duo is _a_ phone call."

"So instead he brings the whole girl?"

"As...opposed...to...half a girl?" Quatre asked her slowly in mock uncertainty.

She focused on him in mild offense.

Quatre flashed her a grin, then looked to Wufei. "Or three-quarters of a girl."

"You're bad," Wufei retorted, turning and heading for the kitchen, letting the distraction stand. "You have my damn movie, don't you?" he added to Trowa. There was no point in them dwelling on the information, and obviously Trowa wasn't about to tell Amelia the truth of the matter.

"Hm? I sent back all your porn," Trowa protested.

Wufei turned to give him a very _level_ look as Amelia gave _him_ a raised eyebrow look.

Trowa started sniggering wickedly, tucking his hands innocently into his pockets.

"Wow," Quatre muttered, moving around them toward the kitchen as well. "Can you go grab Grandeur, Amelia?"

"All right," she agreed happily, turning to bounce into the bedroom.

Trowa grinned more, meeting Wufei's eyes.

"You're so going to be locked away for a _month_," Wufei informed him a bit snidely. "You know that don't you?"

Trowa started laughing...for some reason, he couldn't find the offense in the statement.

- -

E/N: Thanks for the review, Race...


	4. A New Face

**A New Face**

"You're early," I noted happily to Duo as I moved into the visitor's lounge. "I thought you said after you got off work."

"I don't work until four every day," he explained with a slight shrug.

Natalie bounced across the room to hug me with a bright smile. "Guess what we did today?" she muttered, bouncing more.

"What?" I returned, studying her happy eyes.

"We went to see Big Ben," she returned, smiling even more.

"The clock?" I asked, thinking about that.

She giggled. "That's just what _he_ calls it..."

I looked to Duo with amused curiosity...at least, that was my expression as far as I could control it. My heart was pounding, because his response now would tell me if there was any hope of...being forgiven...

Duo grinned slightly and rolled his eyes.

. . . that was anticlimactic. What was that supposed to _mean?_

Music started playing, a song with a hard beat...and Duo jumped hard, reaching into his pocket...to pull out a cell phone.

That was his ringtone?

"There weren't that many people there," Nat drew my attention back to her, leaning up to kiss me as she muttered cheerily to me about her first tourist escapade. I couldn't help but encourage her happy talk, but Duo was sounding perplexed in the background, and I could hear Wufei's voice, but not make out his words.

"What?" Duo demanded, his voice breaking into her chatter. "I'm here, why?"

Wufei demanded if he was at the center...then started to laugh as Natalie tilted her head, then looked around to Duo, falling silent.

"What?" I asked him curiously.

He shrugged at me, his expression reading a lack of comprehension as he didn't meet my eyes.

And that was...what? Was that promising? That didn't seem promising...

"Tell him he's about to have more visitors," Wufei suggested. "We're coming."

Duo jerked his head at me to see if I'd heard or not.

I nodded, wondering at Wufei's amused tone. That laughter meant that whatever his object of amusement was, it was in some form of a fucked-up situation.

If he was laughing like that, then he hadn't changed as much as I thought he had.

The sound ended and Duo pulled the phone away from his ear, blinking at the screen before wiping it on his pant leg and looking between Nat and I. "I'll be back," he noted, rising to his feet.

"All right," Natalie muttered, watching him walk away. "What did he say?" she asked me when he'd gone.

"Wufei is coming," I explained, moving with her toward the barricade. I didn't want to get to it until the door had closed behind Duo, but I did want to see Wufei when he came in with his...whoever he had with him to make it plural.

"Mr. Yuy?" I looked to the windows that led to the hall and the main office, where Lucien was giving me a concerned look.

The door hadn't closed yet.

"Yeah?" I asked, stopping to meet his eyes fully. I still had Nat in my arms.

"What are you doing?" he asked as Duo passed the end of the barricade.

"Wufei called and said I'd have more visitors," I shrugged a bit. "I want to see who's with him."

The door closed behind Duo and I watched him stop, still in view of the window—it took my attention away from Lucien—and cross his arms, making a curious sort of jerking motion with his head.

Lucien moved forward to see out the window, too.

I could hear it now, Wufei was laughing his ass off as a couple car doors opened...then closed again.

Duo's stance turned from a "what the fuck" sort of question to an "oh dear lord..." sort of disbelief.

"What?" Natalie asked, looking to him curiously.

Wufei moved into the scene, still laughing his ass off, nearly falling against Duo as he did so. The...more dignified...man caught their balance as Wufei started talking fast. I couldn't make out what he was saying, though, and Quatre moved up behind Wufei with a grin.

Duo was staring at someone else, though.

. . .

"Oh god," I muttered, looking to Natalie in disbelief as it struck me. Wufei's laughter, Duo's disbelief...the words...

"Oh god?" Lucien asked, focusing toward me. "They're...being rude?"

I pointed toward the window, meeting the man's eyes as Natalie focused the same way as well.

A tall man...lanky, with black hair...moved into the scene with a woman on his arm that was as short as Natalie with long dark hair...

My jaw dropped to the floor.

It was Trowa...dyed hair, to be sure...but _Trowa_...I could tell by the body language.

"What the _hell?_" Duo demanded, then moved back from him.

Trowa wasn't being received well, I noted almost clinically to myself. Trowa was still rejected, even if I was getting the second chance...and it was definitely a second chance I didn't deserve.

"Oh," Natalie perked up as she recognized the man herself.

"Shh," I suggested quietly. "I don't know what they're about."

"Okay," she agreed, then turned so she could lean against me. I wrapped my arms around her waist, staring at Trowa in disbelief as he turned to look in the window briefly...then noticed and met my eyes.

His smile was wicked.

If he was going to be an ass to me, I was going to call his ass _out_.

Duo shook hands with the female, nodding his head at her a few times as she turned enough that I could make out her face.

Indian...like the Asian sort, not the natives of North America...pretty little thing. Her eyes were bright, and I only got a brief glance of them. Her overall body language was...well, she seemed like a fangirl you'd see waiting for a rock star, like one of them meeting their idol and trying to remain calm.

It didn't take them long to move into the building, and Natalie bounced away from me onto a bench under the barricade, hopping lithely onto it. "Mr. Winner!"

"Songbird!" he replied just as happily, running like he'd hug her.

"You have to sign in!" Lucien cut him off before he could make it to her. "Sign in and..."

Quatre started laughing, then gave Natalie the sort of apologetic shrug that meant things were beyond his control.

She started giggling, bouncing slightly as she waved at Wufei.

"Song bird," Wufei noted, raising an eyebrow at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Aw!" she pouted cutely at him, stomping her foot...which made him laugh more.

Trowa stopped to meet Natalie's eyes with his own shining ones, then looked back to me.

I studied him uncertainly as he moved with the rest of his group to the sign-in sheet, then noticed Lucien eyeing the space between me and the door warily.

That was going to be annoying if he thought it was beyond me to vault the damn barricade.

I moved back obligingly, however, going to the back corner to sit on top of one of the tables. It didn't take Natalie long to be with me, and Wufei was talking in very quick Chinese to...probably Duo. His tone sounded almost wicked, and far too amused for innocence.

Lucien was eyeing the group speculatively, probably because the Chinese man's uncharacteristic demeanor.

"Dr. Bastor!" Wufei greeted him, his excitement quickly changing over as the group turned to make their way to the entrance. "How are you? How's our patient?"

"Doing very good," Lucien returned, considering him.

"That's good," Wufei declared...and bounced into the visitor's lounge. "Heero!"

"Hi, Wufei," I returned, not able to help my smile.

"Heero!" Quatre crowed...and flew across the room to hug me...which was odd, until I realized that he was really snuggling into Natalie, who was in my arms and giggling hard.

"Hi, Quatre," I muttered as he pulled away with his own bouncy happiness.

"Heero!" the Indian woman cried happily...and bounced across the room to hug me...which succeeded in getting Quatre laughing hard and renewing Wufei's chuckles.

"Hi," I noted raising an eyebrow at her.

"You're cuter than the tv shows," she informed me with her happily sparkling eyes. "I'm Amelia."

"Nice to meet you," I muttered...and since I couldn't exactly shake her hand from that position, I hugged her.

She laughed, moving away as Natalie bounced forward to hug Wufei.

"Well?" Trowa asked curiously.

"I don't know what to say to you," I replied, raising both eyebrows. "What do you want me to say?"

"Hi is a usual greeting."

I tilted my head at him. "For friends, huh?"

"And aren't I?"

"I don't know, are you?"

"You don't use code-speak very well," Quatre informed me speculatively. "Your doctor is probably going right away to look at that sign in sheet."

Lucien took the hint and looked around a brief moment before disappearing back into the office.

"You're doing it?" I asked, blinking at him.

"I judge myself sufficiently mentally stable to be released in a few days," he shrugged. "If I don't, she'll seduce him," he pointed at Quatre.

Quatre laughed.

"I use what bribery I can," she informed me.

I blinked at her as Natalie, who'd hugged Trowa and Quatre, came back into my arms.

"We've been laughing a lot," Wufei noted, grinning more at me. "She makes me hyper and brings out the worst in Quatre...they just got in last night."

I noted Lucien had raised the phone to his ear and nodded my acknowledgement.

"How are you?" Quatre asked me, his tone sincere. "How are you feeling?"

"Not bad," I returned, nodding at him. "Having her here did wonders for my spirits," I squeezed my girl and looked around to Duo, who was standing behind the group almost uncomfortably. "Thank you," I said sincerely.

He nodded at me, then moved to sit on the bench that ran the length of the room, it was set against the wall.

"He's done it," Trowa noted, meeting eyes with Lucien, who was standing in the office and watching us with nervous eyes. "He's called someone."

"They aren't going to attack you are they?" Amelia asked nervously, turning to him. Her bubbly manner had melted the instant she'd opened her mouth, and now she was in Trowa's arms with all the vulnerability of a scared new lover searching for comfort.

"I don't imagine they will," Trowa returned, staring Lucien down. "But I don't know what to expect now. Kiss?" Which had her leaning up to kiss him passionately, then wrap her arms around him. "Go sit with Duo, huh?" he suggested, looking back to her. "If they do come in force, I don't want you hurt."

She nodded, kissing him again, then moved to sit directly beside Duo, crossing one leg over the other and raising her fingernails to her lips. Duo wasn't sure how to respond to that, blinking at her, then looking around to Wufei.

"Just don't be an ass to whoever talks to you," Wufei suggested quietly to him. "If you cooperate..."

It was unnerving as hell to have the door flung open and the four or five soldiers from the building came flying into the room with raised weapons. I wasn't sure what Lucien had expected from any of us, either. We were all on our feet, and I'd shoved Natalie to Duo, who in turn shoved the woman toward Amelia and took up a protective stance in front of her as the rest of us moved to stand together. They had their weapons aimed at us...

"Stop!" a woman's voice shouted from the wall as Lucien nearly fell against the desk. "No!"

It was Heather.

I watched her move through the anteroom, wanting very much to grab her and put her in Duo's safety zone...

"Stop!" Heather repeated, shoving the weapons up so they were no longer pointed at us. "You bunch of salt-licks! What are you doing? What part of hard-trained soldiers' didn't you comprehend?"

"Stand down, Pria," one of the men snapped at her.

The moment was shocking to all of us...when Heather actually _backhanded_ the man.

Wufei's easy and excited laughter came again, hard and just as wicked as it had been. "She bitch-slapped you!" he declared as Quatre started laughing as well, both dropping stance.

I swallowed slightly, resting back as I realized Duo'd also dropped his stance.

"You are to **return to your post,**" she all but hissed at him. "Now."

He stared at her in disbelief, glaring at Wufei and Quatre, then saluted her once and turned to go.

"Heather," Lucien protested, moving through the room himself.

"You're a fool, Lucien," Heather snapped, then turned and pointed at Trowa. "Don't you move anywhere."

"If I intended to, I don't think I'd still be here now," he retorted.

"Attend," she snapped at all of us...in a completely commanding voice.

I couldn't help it, and I didn't figure that it mattered on any real level. I fell into attention as Wufei straightened and Quatre sobered. Trowa's indolent stance stopped, if that worked. He wasn't at proper attention, not that any of us were right in it. I couldn't tell if Duo'd moved or not, because he was behind me.

"Soldiers," Heather noted pointedly to Lucien.

Actually, her back to us the way it was seemed to be a show of trust. I sighed and dropped back onto my table.

"If you ever call soldiers on us again," Wufei noted to Lucien, "then you won't like the outcome, because according to the Convention of Nanchang in one-nine-eight, the five of us were given a measure of leniency due to our _childhoods_ spent learning to become _weapons_."

"Paragraph twenty, wasn't it?" I asked, rubbing at my forehead. "I believe you have the Convention on file, Lucien."

The soldiers were looking a lot less sure of themselves.

Acton, who was tall with thinning dark hair and a sword-straight back, moved into the room as that was said, and he moved around the soldiers to consider Heather, then Trowa. He didn't move for a long moment, then pointed at the newly returned pilot.

"Barton," Trowa agreed, his manner assuming more a soldier's aire. "Air force special class."

"Make your closing," Acton suggested to him pointedly.

Trowa turned instantly to Amelia, who was in his arms and hugging him tightly. They kissed again before she, crying, turned away into Wufei's arms for the comfort that Trowa was now out of range to give her.

Trowa watched her a moment with sad eyes, then turned back to Acton. He'd lost his cocky demeanor entirely.

"Let's go," Acton ordered, pointing toward the main building. "Lucien, when I've finished my business, I'd like to have a word with you."

Lucien looked away...and Trowa followed Acton from the visitor's lounge.

"Hey, the best of us make mistakes," Quatre noted almost facetiously to my therapist as Natalie moved back into my arms. "But I'm going to have to suggest to you that you go look up our records," he made sure Lucien met his eyes. "Maxwell and Yuy were able to escape an ultra maximum security facility when they were probably fourteen, and Yuy's leg was broken and he was suffering from severe blood loss."

Lucien started to pull himself up.

"As five," I reminded him quietly, "we're invincible."

He focused on me, his eyes narrowing.

"Return to your posts," Heather snapped at the remaining soldiers, who'd realized they weren't really useful. She turned on me, her eyes hard agates. "Watch your tone and your manner, Yuy."

"I outrank you, princess," I noted...in Estonian, sure, but I did say it.

"What?" she demanded through clenched teeth.

"Of course," I returned in a mild tone.

Wufei snorted slightly, then shook his head and looked around to Duo. "Satisfied?"

"I don't know what to say about this," Duo retorted irritably, gesturing after Trowa...then blinked, since Amelia was still clinging to Wufei with her face hidden.

"You're not supposed to. You don't have anything to do with it. I doubt I'll go down for it, but if I do, you'll get the responsibility for Quatre transferred to you."

"I'm a good boy," Quatre noted to Duo with the happy vacancy of thoughtlessness.

"Mr. Winner?" Lucien asked.

Quatre laughed, then turned to meet his eyes. "Don't mind me, we've been having a flighty morning."

"You're on your meds?" the man demanded skeptically.

"I took them at seven this morning," Quatre reassured him. "We've all been hyper today because we didn't want to dwell on this," he gestured at Amelia.

Lucien considered her a moment, then sighed and turned to Heather again.

"Come on," she suggested. "The doors are wide open."

Lucien sighed, then turned and moved into the anteroom without comment.

Quatre laughed a bit wickedly. "Made an ass of himself a bit."

"Everyone's convinced that Trowa was having flashbacks," I reminded him. "We were actually talking about it last night...he's not, is he?"

"No," Wufei rolled his eyes. "He was just being himself until the guy he attacked tried to pull rank on him."

"That's what I thought," I noted, kissing the top of Natalie's head. "Is she okay?" I indicated Amelia.

"I'm all right," Amelia noted, turning her head to look at me. "I just..." she sighed, straightening.

"It'd have probably made more an impression if you did that to me," Quatre noted with a wicked grin.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

He smiled sweetly at me, then nodded at Natalie. "I think we're being in the way here."

"Only a little bit," Wufei reassured him. "We can go sit with Duo."

"Or leave?" Quatre was confused. "I thought we were going to get my pot."

"I wanted to talk to Heero a while," Wufei shot back. "Your rose bush won't die in an hour."

"It's been a couple weeks," Quatre retorted.

I smiled slightly as the trio moved away from me.

It was more than I deserved...wasn't it? It was hard to tell. I knew that Duo was giving me more than I deserved, the woman in my arms was proof enough of that. But Wufei and Quatre hadn't received the mistreatment. I had been fairly sure Wufei hated me, though, so...

"I don't understand," Natalie noted, usurping my attention again. "I thought Trowa was here already?"

I laughed a bit at that, considering the last few weeks. "He ran off not too long ago...I think it was the day Duo went to Brazil. I don't know where that woman came from, but she wasn't in the picture before that."

"Oh," she considered the group on the bench. "So is Trowa in trouble?"

"I couldn't say," I returned. "I'm sure officers from the Earthsphere are going to be here soon."

"You think so?"

I nodded, enjoying the smell of her hair. "You smell...flowery."

She giggled at that. "Nassaiya had me shower this morning...it's her shampoo. Isn't it divine?"

"If it's her scent, it'll bug me later," I noted, considering it. "She explained that you can shower daily here too, right? So you should have her get you your own shampoo...I like this one, but it'll bug me if you and Duo's girl have the same scent."

"I'll talk to her about it tonight," she promised, resting her head on my shoulder. "Duo said he has to start working right tomorrow. I guess he's going to be working until four most of the time. They want to sign me up for an English language class, I guess they did that for Nas right off, too. Then after that they were saying maybe I could babysit their boys."

"The older one's not his, is it?"

"You'd never know it," she noted, shrugging a bit. "I don't know if the boy himself really realizes it. I'm sure he does, but..."

"So how is that working out?"

"Duo said they're going to move Camden into Vasu's room," she explained. "They'll give me Cam's room. It's the smallest, but the easiest to move around, and Cam won't mind, so I can stay there as long as this takes."

"I'm trying," I reassured her quickly, studying her dark eyes. "I don't think it will take too much longer. I know what I have to get through...it's going to be hard for me, though," I studied her sincerely. "I...when I was a teen, I was put through training." I swallowed, looking away as I considered the matter. "I was trained hard to have no emotions..."

"What?" she whispered.

I shrugged slightly at her. "I never told you before because it horrifies everyone. You realize what was happening back on the base right?"

"I've heard some stuff, but whenever it comes up Duo gets all pissy with me and we bicker. He doesn't really like me, you know?"

"What?" I asked blankly, looking around to him in confusion.

"He...never has liked me. Nassaiya told me I was being foolish, but I can tell sometimes...the way he says things, and how he says certain things in English so I don't understand..."

I was annoyed by that, looking around irritably...to meet Duo's eyes. Initially they were curious, but in a third of a second they'd turned hard, and he stared directly back at me.

I shifted back, blinking slightly.

"What?" Wufei asked, giving me an interested look.

"Nothing," I dismissed, looking away.

Natalie moved into my arms nervously.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Duo noted darkly, rising to his feet. "I have some shit to do," he added to Natalie in Portuguese. "I'll be back in a half hour."

She nodded...and he swept from the lounge.

"You sure you're trying to get back in with him?" Quatre asked from where he was lounging with an interested sort of look. "Because that look you just gave him was one you used to give him before...you know, before you'd beat the shit out of him?"

My gut _wrenched_.

Quatre laughed a bit, rising to his feet. "If you don't mind, Fei, I think I want to go run around with Duo some. I want to hear about his trip and he should be able to stop to get my pot, since it's asking so much of you."

"Is he okay with you?" I demanded almost bitterly of the blond before he could get away. Quatre was by no means innocent of mistreatment.

"Yes, actually," Quatre returned, not slowing his pace. "See, I'm medicated now," he met my eyes. "I'll try and come tomorrow...but I'll make sure it's a time when Duo's not here, all right?"

Okay...he'd seemed pissed at me.

I nodded slightly.

He grinned, winked at Natalie, and disappeared.

- -

Quatre moved into the minivan with Duo almost uncertainly, studying the man from the corner of his eye.

"What?" Duo demanded, buckling and sliding the key into the ignition before meeting eyes.

"I saw that look he gave you," Quatre explained, looking away slightly.

"I know I can't expect him to be instantly better," Duo noted darkly, starting the engine. "I'm not really all that upset by that," he started to back out. "It just bothers me."

"I see," the blond muttered, thinking a moment. "We can change topics now?"

"You're sounding like your un-medicated counterpart," Duo noted. "You sure you had your meds today?"

"Part of it is personality," Quatre retorted. "I'm sorry to ask questions like that."

Duo heard the sincerity in it and frowned slightly at his companion before pulling into traffic. "Sorry...but I intend to start spending more time with you guys now...you can't blame me, really."

"I just get tired of people asking me if I had my pills," he explained with a sigh, looking out the window. "I mean, some of them are friends of Wufei or Juki who are just playing around and don't know, but it stings."

Duo nodded his understanding of that, chewing at a nail. "What did you need?"

"I dug my rosebush up from the Healing Center," Quatre noted, perking up. "It was gorgeous there, but it's been in a pot for a couple weeks now...I want a bigger pot, and for some reason Wufei is fighting me tooth and nail to get it set up."

"The one I bought you?" Duo asked, startled as he met eyes briefly.

"Yeah," Quatre muttered with a slight smile, looking out the window. "The one that means we're okay."

Duo considered that comment a long moment, then glanced down at his forearm, and a burn scar the blond had given him. It was almost bizarre how different the man was. It was almost like he had a twin, and they'd changed places...the prince and the pauper...

"Can we?" Quatre asked, looking around to him.

"Huh?" Duo jumped slightly. "Shit...sorry...where at?"

"Just...Broker or Valley...I don't need anything specialty...just the pot and some soil. What do you think of balcony gardens?"

"They're a hassle, and you could go to the market with better results."

Quatre laughed at that, giving Duo a dirty look.

Duo grinned back, resituating himself in the seat. "Valley is closest."

"Well," Quatre hazarded, "we can do your stuff first...I mean..."

"What stuff?" Duo asked, grinning at him. "I just had to get out of there."

Quatre turned to _look_ at him.

"I don't really like him," Duo said gently. "It's not expected of me, and there's no way I'm letting him fall back into _any_ of his old habits. Natalie being here is still way too new to him, and it'll have an effect since he places it fully on me."

"Isn't it?" the blond asked blankly.

Duo laughed a bit at that and shook his head. "We should get you a box for more gardening...it'd bug the hell out of Fei."

Quatre considered that a long moment, then smiled slightly. "We only have a half hour, huh?"

Duo snorted. "You and Fei know Nat better than I do. If Heero has to go to his room or anything, she can just leave with him and Amelia."

"No, Duo," Quatre muttered, accepting that reasoning and grinning more. "If I get any more than a pot or two, I'll be doing it with Wufei. He's going to have to help me move the stuff around, and I won't make him do that without his own cooperation."

"Me and Nas are thinking about getting a place," he noted, focusing on the blond again. "If we find something, I'll try to make sure it has yard enough for you to have a garden."

Quatre's attention moved to the circular burn scars on the other's arm and his face changed from pleased happiness to guilty depression.

Duo looked down at the arm again as well, then rubbed the hand on his pant leg. "I guess I shouldn't make you offers until I've talked it over with my wife, huh?"

"Yeah," Quatre muttered, looking away. He was silent a long moment, then looked up to Duo as they stopped at a stop light. "Hey, Duo?" he asked, waiting for the other to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry...really."

Duo accepted it with a nod of his head, then ran a hand over the burn scars. "I'm gonna buy some scar removal...and if that doesn't work I might get it lasered."

"Let me pay for it?" Quatre asked, looking away again.

Duo made an amused sound. "I guess I shouldn't make any plans without first talking to my wife. I still think we should get you a bunch of gardening shit...you _know_ it'd bug Wufei."

- -

E/N: ...I'm easily amused.


	5. Beginning of Amends

**Beginning of Amends**

With Trowa in the compound for evaluation, I had an added impetus to go to the lounge in the evenings. It had been two days since he'd shown up, and he was annoyed because even though Amelia would be in the lounge, he couldn't have visitors yet. I'd only had Wufei as a guest that early because Wufei had the power to ruin anyone that annoyed him and the staff of Anjer-Baen fully comprehended the fact. When Wufei had gotten Quatre and I out of the Healing Center, the people who'd shown up had been in a rage, it was a group just shy of a lynch mob. He'd evidently made a point of the fact that if it hadn't been for me, the final bit of Libra would have fallen and smashed into the planet...something like that, anyway. It hadn't been a public broadcast, and I'd have to wait to get access to it until I was out.

"So we moved into her parent's place," Trowa continued his story. "Her parents are in the process of emptying the nest, but they didn't like the idea of Amelia coming here with only me. I gave them the money for a ticket...and then before we came in, I went to the bank and set her up an account so she didn't have to live off Wufei...I don't know what they were talking about when I was in there, though," he shook his head. "When I came out again Wufei was laughing hard and Quatre was starting to bounce off the walls. Wufei decided he needed to call Duo to warn him, and..." he shrugged slightly. "I'm sort of weirded out by how well she gets along with both of them."

"You guys never really liked Nat," I noted, looking down almost sadly.

"Actually, that's not it," Trowa corrected happily. "Natalie is a reserved sort of person, so you have to draw her out before you can get to know her, but we all like her. The problem with Nat was that she was your girl."

I closed my eyes at hearing the words, turning my head away.

"It was an interesting situation, don't you think?" he asked, lounging back some. "You intended no wrong and Quatre couldn't think straight...Wufei was always pissed about something and Duo tried to keep out of sight and mind as much as he could." He considered it a moment, though I was having a return of my nausea. "Really," he added quietly, looking across the room at the groups of people sitting around together or playing games. "I fucked us all up, didn't I?"

"What?" I asked blankly.

"If Wufei could have gotten me to cooperate with him, we could have ended a lot of the shit. We could have gotten you the help you needed, and gotten Quatre on his meds a long time ago...but Wufei just _pissed_ me off, and that made it fun to thwart him..." he shook his head again. "I dunno, Heero...I guess I should apologize to you, I can see how it affects you now...that you're regretting it. Don't hate me, but I think half of it was my fault."

I met his eyes, startled by the admissions. I wasn't sure what to make of them, either, because I'd never once thought a single thing he was saying.

"Well," he shook his head, sitting up again. "Enough of that...what about you? What did I miss in three weeks?"

"I pissed off Acton on accident, which made him piss me off, so they put me with Lucien and make me talk to Acton once in a while."

Trowa shrugged a bit. "Since Lucien is your therapist, it'll be up to Acton to decide you _are_ ready and it's not just the familiarity. Same goes with me. I'm gonna end up meeting with Dr. Bastor tomorrow. Acton says that they want to put me under to figure out a few things about my thought processes, but they figure I'll be out by Friday or Saturday after they establish something."

"That you're an apathetic bastard?" I offered happily.

He flinched in mock pain, giving me a matching mock pained look.

"Oh _that's_ believable," I retorted.

He laughed happily at that and shrugged. "I tried to get them to tell me how you were doing and how long they thought it'd be for you, but Acton reminded me that it was patient confidentiality, and that they couldn't discuss it with me."

"I bet they tell Wufei," I noted, thinking about it. "I think he's my advocate, too, since he's the one that got us moved and has Quatre. I'll ask him if he comes later, but he was saying something about work and his girlfriend."

"What do you suppose Duo thinks about all this?"

I frowned at him and looked away. "I wouldn't presume to think anything about Duo...I'll just leave it at grateful respect."

Trowa was silent a moment, then made an amused noise. "You ever hear what happened when they were in the village? Before Nat came back to base and told us he was there?"

I focused on him slowly, not sure what to make of the question.

Trowa grinned. "She wouldn't hear anything against you and kept insisting he just needed to go back. She had no idea...about anything. If she'd have believed him or believed how bad it had gotten, she wouldn't have told you anything...but you know what? Wufei was saying that she waited a day before saying anything to you at all."

I wasn't sure how to react to that...she hadn't said the day she got back, but that had never really occurred to me.

"So when we went into Manaus looking for him...it was like, a day late and a dollar short. I guess he rowed them across the river...can you believe that shit? I don't get how he managed to make it to the city at all in those little row boats they have..."

"He must have really wanted away," I noted glumly, looking to my feet.

"I'd imagine," Trowa agreed easily. "You can't expect any more from him than that, really. If you'd have caught him at that point, you would have beat the shit out of him and you know it."

I made a disgusted sort of sound, covering my mouth with my hand as the nausea threatened to turn into vomit, leaning forward where I sat as the guilt tore through every vein of my body.

Trowa, for his part, didn't seem to have anything to say to watching me. He didn't offer to reassure me or try even to get closer to me...he didn't have a _word_ to say about it. He just...waited...until I could lift my head again.

"That," he said quietly, "if anything, proves to me that you mean it. I'm going to tell Duo about that. I imagine Wufei is your advocate, so I'll get him to start pressing them on letting you out, because aside from admitting that you were in the wrong and that you know better now, I don't think there's much they really have to keep you here on."

I sat back slightly, blinking at him.

He'd changed...or had he? In Brazil, he'd gone from caring one moment to being a demon the next. The changes of his behavior could last days, hours, or moments...and I had a feeling it all had to do with his own mental state...if he was bored or not.

So was this extreme boredom? Did he actually mean what he was saying? Would _his_ saying a word make a _damn_ bit of difference?

"He rejected you," I noted before I thought it out entirely. "He..."

Trowa frowned and looked away. "I guess he did ..."

"I don't know why he's even giving me a second chance at all," I added glumly, resting my head on my knees. "I didn't do anything to deserve it. Quatre did deserve his second chance and Duo knew that...I can understand why they're getting along, but...I don't deserve it."

"What I don't get is why he was okay with Wufei from the start," Trowa noted. "Wufei didn't abuse him, but he sure didn't help him...and that first day we got to London they were coming into the lobby together...laughing like old friends. I don't get why Wufei is okay."

"Hm," I returned, then sighed and sat up again. "I'm going back to my room, I think."

"No," Trowa refused easily. "You're going to stay here and talk to me, because going to dwell on this shit won't help you at all. Did Wufei tell you that I stopped by his place after I did my hair like this?"

I blinked at him, not sure what I wanted to say at all to that...not even sure if I was going to listen to him.

"I spent the fist night with him, woke up early the next morning and took some of his stuff...his blue hoodie, the one he always wore," he grinned a bit. "Then his...he had his pistol, the good one that he kept in his room...I took that...then a bunch of his DVDs."

I grinned slightly at that, raising my eyebrows.

"I got him breakfast, though," he added happily. "Left him a note...it took me longer than I thought it would to get the contacts in...but yeah, I sent the DVDs back to him one at a time from each city I stopped in...all but his favorite."

His smile was so childishly happy and naughty that I couldn't help but grin back at him.

"You know how he always pretended to be looking at porn in Brazil?" he waited for me to nod...even if I hadn't been actively aware of that fact...made sense, though, now. "Well, I hit an adult shop in one of the cities I was in...picked up a couple movies. I sent one of them back to him in the Grandeur case...which bugged the _shit_ out of him. Quatre was telling me about it...I think by the time I get back, he'll have his hoodie and firearm, though. Quatre asked Amelia to grab Grandeur for him, so she didn't realize I was keeping the stuff...it was kinda funny though...and...you know..." he blinked. "I had the movie in the case for the porno I sent Wufei...how the fuck did she know where it was?"

I had to laugh at that, shaking my head slightly at him since I had no _real_ idea. I'd barely gotten three words from the female.

He grinned back at me, going thoughtful a moment. "Huh...I'll have to talk to her about that one."

"Sick ass," I retorted.

He laughed his happy wicked laugh, then shook his head at me. "Anyway...when this is all over with, we should just _go_...take a cruise or something."

I blinked at him.

"Don't you think?" he asked, looking off across the lounge. "I think we need to just get away from these problems and do something...then decide if we're going to stay in London or not."

"Or go back to Brazil?" I asked quietly, my heart sinking.

"Wufei's not going, and I doubt Quatre will want to," Trowa met my eyes again. "I don't think Amelia will want to go either...you and Nat can go back, but I thought you wanted to stay by us."

I stared at him in disbelief.

Not go back to my soldiers? To my base? How would I ever know if they were safe?

But then again, I had no desire of going back alone...and he was right. The others wouldn't want to go back, and his decisions were all going to be based on a girl he hadn't even known a month.

I looked away, trying to digest that.

"Mm," he added, looking to the clock. "I have to get up early...I think I'm going to bed. See you at breakfast, huh?"

I nodded in response, rising with him. I hadn't eaten breakfast before he'd shown up. I'd started to go get my food right before going to see Lucien at ten, and breakfast was at eight...but with him there, it'd be worth it to me...for me...whatever. I had a friend, a true friend. I'd go eat breakfast with him if he wanted me to, it just meant I should go to bed sooner...and now was as good a time as any.

"After breakfast," he added as the soldier watched us leaving the lounge, "they're gonna try some hypnosis on me. I think it's a bad idea, but if I argue too much they'll think it's because more than I just don't like being vulnerable in any form. Have they done hypnosis on you yet?"

"Not yet," I returned. "Lucien isn't sure if I can be hypnotized or not...he thinks I can be, but he wants to wait until he's sure I trust him."

"Really?"

I shrugged. "I still react hard when I'm startled and stuff...it's been my whole life, you know? So he wants to be sure I'm not going to defend myself or something...I haven't made it make sense yet. I brought it up though, so he's leaning more to it now. I think he's waiting for me to suggest the measures so it's my idea, you know?"

"Probably," he agreed as we neared the turn for my room. "See you at breakfast."

"Yeah," I agreed, watching him start away, then turned down my hall...to see another soldier.

Did they have one outside of Trowa's room?

I was half-tempted to sneak out of my room to find out. It wouldn't be hard. All it'd take would be a call on a walkie for him to be distracted, or looking down another hall...

The idea was naughty, and I figured I'd end up doing it before all was said and done...but I didn't want to mess up any chance Trowa had of getting out, so I'd just have to _ask_ him about it.

I shook my head, then headed into my room itself.

I probably should push the hypnosis while Trowa was in the building. If something went weird, I'd trust him—it didn't matter that half the time in Brazil he'd been a fucker. He was a person I trusted...and that meant a lot more to my psyche than I probably realized.

- -

"What makes you think its okay for you to pick stuff up off the ground?" Duo demanded of Camden happily as he carried his son from the coffee shop. "You know I always get you a cookie, so why do you have to pick things up from the floor?"

Camden yammered something unintelligible back at him, that included the word "this".

Duo raised an eyebrow...and the child yammered more.

"Why do you always talk to him like that?" Natalie asked quietly, moving to catch up with him curiously as she took another experimental sip of her drink.

"He understands me, I just don't understand him," Duo returned, grinning slightly at her. "What do you think?" he indicated her drink.

"It's...hot," she returned, sipping again.

"Open it," Duo suggested. "Take the lid off and let it cool that way some...just be careful not to...spill," he blinked at her as she sloshed the hot liquid over the rim, then giggled and pulled the hand that had been mildly scalded away. "Like that, actually."

"Oh hush," she retorted, her cheeks coloring very slightly as she looked up at him briefly.

He laughed, turning to pass her a napkin. "I suggest you wipe the cup off first, then your hand...here," he added, taking the cup from her carefully. "Nas did that fifty times when I first started going here," he noted, looking back to the building. "She couldn't seem to coordinate her walking."

Natalie grinned at that, appreciating that he was reassuring her.

He sipped gingerly at the cup, then nodded approvingly at the taste. He'd been sure to request the low-sweetened kind like Nassaiya ordered...and this tasted just like hers, so he assumed Nat would like it about as well...if she liked it at all.

"Thanks," Natalie added quietly, looking away from him.

"Mr. Scott!"

Duo looked around to a man from the offices and grinned slightly. "Maxwell, please."

The man blinked, taken aback by the comment for a moment before accepting it and smiling again. "Are you collecting Amazon natives?"

"It's slow going because the time difference," Duo noted, grinning a bit.

The man laughed.

"This is Natalie," Duo added, nodding his head as he met her eyes. "She's from Nas' village."

"Oh, nice to meet you," he muttered, offering his hand happily...and shaking her hand firmly. "What are you doing? Is she living here?"

"Nas was missing her family," Duo shrugged. "We decided to bring her here as a governess for our boys."

"She knows English, then?" he asked, remembering that Nassaiya hadn't known any.

"She knows some, she was working at the base down there. She's going to take a class in English, though, and Vasu knows Portuguese, and Cam knows well enough," he bounced the boy, who grinned at him.

"That's good," the guy noted, smiling more at Natalie. "That's good...we should get together some day and have lunch!"

Duo nodded, and the man smiled again before waving a bit at all of them, then specifically to the child...before turning to walk away.

"What?" Natalie asked. "I couldn't follow that."

"He thinks you're hot and doesn't know you're taken," Duo explained in Portuguese.

She grinned and gave him a look.

He laughed happily, offering her cup back to her so she could put the lid back on it. "After we get Vasu, we can go into the city."

"All right," she said quietly.

"I was thinking about ordering pizza," he added, starting to walk again, "but that'd upset your stomach, and Nas doesn't always appreciate that. We'll have to think of something for supper."

"I can cook," she offered quietly, moving to look at him. "I can..."

He grinned at her, appreciating the offer. "I don't care which one of us does it. If you have something in mind, I'll let you take over...if not we can wander the grocery store. We'll have to wait this weekend to do anything _big_...and then we can have trips be weekend stuff and use it as rewards for your class."

She tilted her head at him, debating if that was offensive or not.

He grinned and shifted his son to his other arm. "It's actually what the teacher suggested for me and Nas both...I dropped my class, but she stuck with hers. We ended up doing all sorts of cool shit around town. We can sit down and make up your wish list."

"I'm almost certain you used a few wrong words there," she mused, considering what he said.

"I don't claim to be perfectly fluent in the language. I can get my meanings across, and that's as far as I take it."

She giggled.

"Actually, I was wrong," he added, looking back ruefully to her. "After we pick up Vasu, I'm going to Wufei's...we are, I mean. You don't mind, I trust?"

"I like Quatre," she retorted. "I'm never sure what to think of Wufei though. He used to bitch about me singing around the base and could be mean to me...but then he can be perfectly cordial and stuff..."

"Wufei was depressed in Brazil," Duo noted, looking to her curiously. "You realized that didn't you?"

She blinked at him.

"Yeah," he noted, moving toward the school. "He's coming out of it now...he should be happier in general."

"Ah," she took another drink of her cup, then considered it a moment and sipped again.

"Good?" he asked, grinning at her.

She nodded, taking another slightly longer drink.

Duo winked at her, then turned to lead the way again.

- -

"But what if I put too much in?" Amelia asked Quatre nervously. "I did that once at home..."

"Just be careful," Quatre reassured her. "As long as you don't put the whole thing in there it should be all right."

"So...if I just rub the end off..." Juki suggested in an amused tone.

"You're trying to kill the things before they even take root, aren't you?" he retorted dryly.

Amelia and Juki both sniggered.

Wufei rolled his eyes, then sighed. He'd been trying to avoid encouraging Quatre's gardening tendencies, but the women were all excited by the idea of growing their own herbs. The three of them were on the balcony planting some little green things that Quatre had gotten with Duo. As soon as they'd gotten home, he'd gone out and switched his rose bush into the bigger pot, fertilizing it and watering it...but he hadn't been nearly so worried about the little plants. He probably would have put off messing with them another day if Wufei wasn't complaining about the scent of the soil.

He moved onto the balcony, which instantly caught the blonde's attention. Amelia, though, was busily messing with a small caplet as Juki poked at the soil of one pot.

Quatre nodded a greeting at him, though he was elbows deep in a bag of potting soil. "Juki, can you get some water? Tepid?"

"You're tepid," she retorted happily, then turned and stopped to look at Wufei. She smiled brightly at him, then bounced up to give him a kiss before disappearing into the apartment.

"Do you suppose tepid' is a compliment?" Quatre asked, his eyes sparkly as he pulled out a small pot.

"I don't know that I'm understanding," Amelia muttered. "You mean...like warm, right?"

Quatre grinned at the female and nodded. "Juki is being special."

Amelia grinned at that, then looked to Wufei with a smile. "You want to break this?" she offered, extending the caplet to him.

"Oh, here," Quatre muttered taking it from her and snapping it in half. He crumbled one part around the base of the plant Juki had been poking at, then passed the second piece back to the female and indicated a second pot.

"'scuse me, love," Juki muttered, sliding around him with a cup to offer Quatre.

"You can water plants, can't you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Tepid," she retorted...and happily moved to do as he asked.

Quatre grinned slightly at that, meeting eyes with Wufei a brief moment.

"Flirt," Wufei accused his girlfriend, smacking her bottom. "He's not paying you so you don't have to pay him any special mind."

Quatre laughed wickedly as Amelia turned to look between them in confusion.

"I'm a geisha," Juki explained quickly, her smile large. "That sounds so bad..." she added, smacking at Wufei.

"It's _true_," he retorted happily, kissing her ear.

"I love it when she makes you jealous," Quatre muttered happily, going back to changing the soil around. "It's so funny, because it's not like she'd actually cheat on you...and I'm your _best friend_."

"Best friends are the worst for it," Juki noted happily, passing the cup to Amelia so she could turn properly into Wufei. "Because there's that instant trust and familiarity...I hear about it all the time."

"Especially when she's hot," Quatre noted, nodding his head briefly at Juki before going back to his work.

"I hate you so bad," Wufei grumbled at the blond.

Quatre laughed happily, setting his pot down and picking up one of the small green things.

Juki grinned, kissing at Wufei's chin. "You want to play with plants? I was going to, but then I realized it'd get my nails dirty," she raised one hand to study her manicured nails.

"We have a nail brush," Quatre reminded the female. "And we have files."

"Is that okay?" Amelia asked, studying the area she'd just spread her caplet over. "It's not too much there is it?"

Quatre turned his head to glance, then seemed to think better of it and leaned forward to mock-inspect her job. He nodded after a moment, seeming satisfied. "That's fine...better than fine. Go ahead and water it."

Amelia smiled happily at that praise and did as he suggested, carefully wetting all the soil.

Quatre flashed Wufei a brief grin, tossing the small plastic-cover pot toward the door. "It'd be a nice day to garden," he noted, turning his head so he could see Wufei out of the corner of his eye. "If I had a garden."

"Fuck you," Wufei returned. "They didn't have any three rooms on the ground floor. I was looking."

"Don't they have inner gardens?" Amelia asked curiously, moving to the railing to look up and down the street they were over. "Don't they have public plots?"

"I don't know where they even are," Quatre noted, frowning slightly. He didn't know where they were, and he rarely went anywhere without Wufei. Wufei wouldn't want to sit around while he gardened, and Wufei was indifferent to gardening in general.

"There aren't any nearby," Wufei noted. "It'd be more than it was worth with the bus rides and things...I'm shocked Duo didn't get you to buy more..."

Quatre grinned at that. "He tried...wasn't that nice of me? I could have let him get all the stuff he was suggesting for me and played it off...and I didn't."

Wufei gave him an amused look.

"Really, though," Quatre added, dropping the teasing aire and shifting to face the man more. "I really want a garden."

Wufei sighed, looking down the levels of their building and shaking his head a bit. "I know...I'm sorry I didn't get to take you for your pot."

Quatre nodded, snapping a caplet in half and sprinkling it around the plant he'd just potted.

"I was thinking to get my stuff packed," Juki noted, focusing up on Wufei.

Both males stopped, startled.

"I think I can get my stuff out in a couple days...but I'm working all week. Once I get settled in, we can start the garden...it will have flowers, won't it?" she appealed the last to Quatre.

"That's easily arranged," he noted, grinning slightly at her.

She smiled back at him.

Wufei rolled his eyes at that, then focused on his girlfriend. "So you're actually going to move in?"

"You expected something else?" she asked, giving him a confused look.

"I was bugged about your timing," he retorted. "You'd never answer me before."

"Oh, my bad," she kissed him.

"There's Duo," Quatre noted, looking over the railing at the minivan. "We don't have any little crap laying around, do we?"

"I dunno," Wufei admitted, turning back to the apartment. "I'll go look."

"Close the bedroom doors, I think," the blond added, "just to be safe."

"Good idea," Wufei agreed...and moved to start closing doors. Camden was adorable, to be sure...but he had a tendency to get into things he shouldn't...frequently.


	6. Come Too Soon

**Come Too Soon**

Going under was the most terrifying experience of my life.

It was worse than the retraining, worse than being caught...worse than Duo leaving me...because it was _all_ those things almost at once. It made me feel helpless and weak utterly out of control...there was _nothing_ I could do...

"Yuy..."

That voice was familiar...comforting...it allowed me to take that emotional step back.

"Yuy?"

I took a slight breath, realizing my heart was still hammering in my chest. I focused on that with interest. It'd been a long time since my heart rate had accelerated when I hadn't chosen to let it...

"Yuy? You all right?"

Trowa?

I opened my eyes at the voice, focusing on my friend in confusion—something seemed off with his appearance, but there was no mistaking that it _was_ him.

Lucien was sitting in his chair with very wide eyes. He looked a little pale, and he was so severely Caucasian to begin with that he looked more like a ghost than a human.

What was going on?

I looked around the office blankly, noting with some distaste that my clothes were wet from sweat—cold sweat. How nasty...

"Come on," Trowa persisted, moving forward to help me to sit up. "Say something."

"Huh?" I asked him blankly, looking around again.

Was this a dream? Why was Trowa in Lucien's office?

"He said you were hypnotized," Trowa explained—had I said that out loud? "I guess he asked you a question that triggered a loss of control. You decked him, huh?"

I looked back to my psychiatrist in confusion, noting that there was a large discoloration on his cheek.

"You with us yet?" Trowa asked curiously.

"I...yeah...um..." I shook my head slightly...and the fear slammed into my stomach.

I looked around the room in confusion, my mind running subconscious checks of security and assessing the level of threat Lucien _was_.

"You gonna be okay?" Trowa's voice was still calm and soothing.

I focused on him, realizing my eyes were very wide.

"You're gonna be okay," he muttered, sitting next to me on the couch. "We're fine here, remember? This is safe."

"That was...terrifying," I returned, my mind running over the fears.

"What did you _ask_ him?" Trowa snapped at Lucien.

His tone of voice was a _lot_ less comforting there.

"Uh..." the man glanced at his clipboard. "I asked what he was scared of..." he looked between us. "It's a _common_ question! It helps get a basis of fears so we can avoid the triggers!"

He was too defensive...it probably wasn't _really_ such a common question to ask.

I looked around again, then took a deep breath and calmed myself back down. In a moment, my heart rate had returned into its normal beat, and even my breathing had calmed.

Wait, they were still arguing.

I looked back to Trowa, considering his black hair. It didn't make any sense to me why I'd known it was him...wait, no, his voice. He'd said my name. I'd known it was him before the visual cue of his facial structure.

Trowa looked back to me with interest.

I licked my lips nervously, scooting down the couch to give him more sitting room. We'd been shoulder to shoulder, I'd been able to feel his heart beat. We weren't normally that comfortable with each other.

"If you're going to hypnotize him again, make sure I'm here," Trowa noted pointedly. "And you're running out of time for that."

"You're not even..." Lucien started.

"Don't even start that shit," Trowa cut him off irritably. "If that were a real issue with you I wouldn't have been called in here to help you after he punched you..."

"I punched you?" I asked, focusing on the guy as my mind properly caught up with everything going on.

He nodded slowly, studying my eyes. "I was trying to calm you..."

"We've been tortured before, Cap'n," Trowa noted sardonically. "When we feel helpless we take steps to protect ourselves."

"I didn't mean any harm," the man muttered, rubbing his hand across his probably-aching cheek. It was a disconsolate sort of notice, and probably didn't have anything to do with the actual situation.

"Sorry," I muttered, rubbing at my eyes as the memory of the fear hit me again. It hadn't struck me as fear when most of it had started happening though. Most of it had been adrenaline rushes that I'd used to diffuse the situation...all of it but the idea of Duo leaving us...the notion of us not being five That, I'd had to reflect on. I'd had to figure out how far it extended through my mind and find the source...and then come to terms with fear.

Strange that the first thing that had scared me consciously had been us not being together.

"I'm sorry," Lucien muttered, sitting back in his chair. "I thought I'd figure out what scared you so I could avoid it in our discussions. I wasn't expecting that sort of reaction."

I nodded at him, taking a long and slow breath as I recovered my composure fully, looking around to Trowa.

"Acton put me under," Trowa noted easily. "Kinda scary, isn't it?"

I nodded glumly, looking back to the plush carpeting.

"He brought me up earlier than he intended to," Trowa added. "I guess I was getting agitated."

I grinned at that; the idea of the normally severely-calm Trowa getting "agitated" amused me on several levels.

Trowa grinned back at me.

Lucian passed a hand across his face, then shook his head. "I did manage to ask you some other questions before," he noted tiredly. "I got to ask you several key questions. I'll consider this information. We may not need to put you under again."

I narrowed my eyes very slightly at him, glancing around to the clock on the wall.

It was almost noon.

We'd started the process at about ten-thirty. That was more than an hour.

"_Some_ questions?" I asked calmly.

He looked up at me, then glanced at the clock. An expression of worry crossed his face very briefly before he nodded at me and made a gesture at me to leave.

"What?" Trowa asked, looking back to me with interest.

"We started the process at ten-thirty," I explained, rising slowly to my feet.

"**_Some_** questions?" Trowa demanded in a more severe tone than my own. "Were his responses long-winded?"

Lucien glared at both of us.

"Why did you ask me what I was scared of?" I snapped at him. "And why would _that_ question make me actually _think_ of my fears?"

"Actually, it had to do with your previous responses," he snapped angrily. "I was letting you lead the questioning since you were the one who wanted to do this."

"Was he, really?" Trowa asked sweetly. "Or are you just mincing words? Come on, Heero, let's go get lunch."

"Yeah," I agreed, moving toward the door after him and wondering about the experience. "Later, Lucien."

"Yeah," the man agreed in a tone that suggested he was annoyed.

I wasn't overly pleased to find out that I'd punched the man. I didn't actually consider him a physical threat...that probably meant we'd covered some topics that had severely bothered me...

And considering the fear that I could almost taste on my tongue...that didn't really surprise me.

- -

"Hello, this is Dr. Bastor from the Anjer-Baen Assistance Facility, I'm calling to speak with um...Chang Wufei?"

"Hold on just a moment," Quatre muttered, blinking slightly as he pulled the phone away from his mouth. "Fei? It's Heero's doctor."

Wufei blinked at him, setting down the box he'd been carrying in and moving across the room to take the phone. "Hello?"

"Mr. Chang? This is Dr. Bastor...I hope this isn't an inconvenient time?"

"Its fine," Wufei muttered, looking around the room a moment as Juki carried a box in and gave him an interested look. "How can I help you?" he asked, making a gesture at the pair in apology.

"Well, as Mr. Yuy's advocate, I felt obliged to let you know that we had a hypnosis session today."

Wufei raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't I have been _fore_warned?"

"My apologies, of course. I don't consider Heero in a state not to make his own decisions."

"That's promising, isn't it?"

"He has made some considerable progress," the man agreed easily. "I'm definitely under the impression his further stay with us here will be limited...but I'll get to that after a while. Have you spoken to Heero today?"

"Uh, no," Wufei muttered, wondering at his urge to pull out a cigarette as he leaned against the railing of the balcony. He'd kicked that habit, what the hell? "I'm heading over for a visit this evening."

"Ah," the man's voice was neither pleased nor bothered. "Well, Mr. Yuy has been suggesting hypnosis off and on from the beginning of his time here...I put him under, like I was saying...and managed to ask him many key questions. His responses to those questions were promising...unfortunately I misunderstood some of his cues. I followed his line of thought to the point of asking him what scared him and he became...agitated."

To actually have touched on his fears?

Wufei was amazed the man wasn't in traction.

"I understand," Wufei noted.

"When I moved to soothe him," the man sounded like he'd flinched, "he, uh...punched me..."

"He's not in trouble for that is he?" Wufei demanded. "You can hardly make him responsible for defensive actions while he was under hypnosis..."

"No! No!" the man reassured him quickly. "Not at all, most definitely...I was just making the note of what had happened. I had to call Mr. Barton in to genuinely calm him again, and I'm afraid they both seem angry with me about the incident."

"If you managed to make Heero deck you," Wufei muttered in mild amusement, "then there's plenty for them both to be angry about." Heero had a control over his temper and physical actions that'd make a _wall_ jealous—aside from when Duo'd...but that had stopped. That was never going to happen again.

The man laughed almost nervously at his statement. "Well, um...like I was saying, his responses were promising. I think we'll have him another week before releasing him into your custody, similar to Mr. Winner...unless that's too much..."

"No, not at all," Wufei reassured him quickly. "As you said before, he's not in a state to make his own decisions...um...you say a week? Why are you waiting?"

"Acton will need to speak with him again...I foresee no difficulties, as long as Mr. Yuy continues meeting with a therapist. However, I'm not the one to make that final call. I fully intend to apologize to Heero, Mr. Chang," he added almost like an afterthought, but too quick to really be considered one. "I hadn't realized the full extent of his worries."

"Worries?" Wufei asked, raising an eyebrow at the building across the street from them. Behind him, Amelia and Quatre were brining up boxes.

"Ah...it seems he's severely disturbed about what happened with Mr. Maxwell."

"Understandably," Wufei agreed, still somewhat skeptical.

"He informed me...under hypnosis...that he's been getting physically ill with guilt for some time now."

"Oh dear," Wufei muttered, blinking.

"I'd like to set him up with a physical," Lucien explained his actual reason for calling. "I'd like to get him set up with someone who can check his stomach for ulcers and the like. I need your permission, also, to access his records from his admittance to the Healing Center."

"Why?"

"If he's been ill," the man explained, "he may have lost weight. Do you get that impression?"

"Not horribly," Wufei muttered, thinking back. Heero'd dropped weight at a worrisome rate when Duo'd disappeared...but he hadn't seemed to since changing to Baen. "I don't see a problem with you looking at those records," he added. "The final decision will be up to Heero, however. I consider his discretion valid at this point."

"That's perfectly fine," the man returned. "Reasonable...ah, you're living in an apartment, are you not?"

"I am," Wufei agreed, looking back at the fairly large building...as it occurred to him that he would have Trowa, Amelia, _and_ Juki.

"Is there ample room for Mr. Yuy to move in as well?"

"If he and Quatre are fine with sharing a room," Wufei returned. "I'll ask him this evening when I go see him. If not, we'll be moving again," he grimaced to himself. He'd thought it a possibility, but hadn't expected it to come up before they'd lived in their new place a month.

Juki was going to _love_ that...

"Very well," Lucien muttered happily. "I'll let you go, then. We'll contact you with more specific information after Acton and I have had a conference."

"Of course," Wufei returned, grinning very slightly. "Thank you for calling."

"Have a good day, Mr. Chang," the man returned...and hung up.

Wufei smirked, ending the call as he considered the railing.

Interesting development, actually.

"Fei?" Quatre asked curiously, moving to stand in the door. "What did they want?"

"He was telling me a couple things," Wufei returned, turning to head into the building. "First of which was that he'd hypnotized Heero and got decked for the effort."

Quatre smirked at that, heading toward the door.

"Second being that Heero will probably get out next week."

Quatre stopped, turning to _look_ at him.

Wufei grinned back.

"Damn," Quatre whispered, moving aside as Juki carried another box up.

"So my question for you," Wufei added, moving around his friend toward the stairs, "is are you willing to share your room with him until they take him out of my custody...because if you say no, we're going to be moving again."

"Will it be a place with a yard?" Quatre asked skeptically.

"No," Wufei retorted, starting down the stairs.

Quatre laughed slightly at that, following after.

He'd have to talk to Heero.

- -

"Hey, son," Duo muttered when Vasu had answered the phone. "Can I talk to Natalie?"

"Mom is here," Vasu muttered in vague confusion.

"I'll talk to her in a minute," Duo reassured him. "I'm running late."

Vasu didn't make a response, just moved to give the phone to the woman in question as Nas looked at him in confusion.

"Hello?" Natalie asked.

"Hey, Nat, it's me," he muttered in Portuguese. "I wanted to let you know I'm going to run another hour or more. We won't get to see Heero until six or seven."

"Oh," she sounded slightly disheartened.

"I know, I'm sorry," he muttered. "Visiting hours end at eight, so you may not get time...but I can't get away here."

"All right," she muttered, smiling even though she didn't fully feel it. "It's perfectly fine, Duo. I'll live for one day...if...if you have to run later."

"Yeah," Duo agreed glumly. "Let me talk to my wife."

Natalie made a noise at that and passed the phone to the other woman.

"Duo?" Nas asked, torn between confusion and concern.

"Hilde's being a slave driver," Duo explained dryly, switching back to English.

Hilde, who was across the room from him, gave him a very _dangerous_ look.

"We have to finish this paper and some other organization crap. It's going to take me an hour or something."

"You're not the only one left are you?" Nas demanded darkly.

"No," Duo muttered, looking around at his companions—they were all calling home and explaining the situation to their spouses or whomever. "We're all here."

"Great," Nas grumped. "What am I going to do for supper?"

"Order pizza," Duo retorted...which brought a lot of attention to him.

Hilde made a kind of happy gesture at him, turning to her phone.

"It looks like Hilde is going to," he noted, frowning slightly. "If I say I'll eat here will you have my balls?"

"I'll think about it," Nas grumped, rolling her eyes. "I think me and Nat will take the boys out...are you asking me to take her to _him?_"

"I may be annoying to you, my love," Duo retorted, "but I'm not stupid or homicidal."

Nas had to grin slightly at that.

"I'll get this through as fast as I can manage it, all right? I'm sorry."

"Tell her _I'm_ sorry," Hilde ordered.

"You're _hardly_ the one who needs to apologize," Nas noted at the same time.

Duo grinned at his boss, who still had the phone to her ear. "Hilde apologized, too. I'm gonna go for now...if things start taking too long I'll call again so you can come rescue me."

Hilde gave him a look.

Nas sniggered.

"Love you, huh?"

"I suppose you do," Nassaiya retorted.

"Hey!" Duo protested, grinning very slightly.

Nas laughed lightly again, shaking her head. "I love you, too."

"It's not _that_ hard to say, is it?" Duo teased.

Nassaiya laughed. "I'll see you when you get home."

"All right," he muttered, listening as she ended the call. He looked around, noting that only one person remained on their phone aside from Hilde, then grimaced. "So...how fast do you think we can do this?"

"Shouldn't take too long," Bartel muttered, running a hand over his head. "Why, hot date?"

Duo grimaced again. "I wish."

"Why don't you _tell_ them what you're doing?" Hilde asked darkly, having already ordered their food.

"Because they wouldn't understand why it annoys you," Duo retorted pointedly. "I suggest you get over it."

"That'll happen, sure," she fake laughed, then rolled her eyes and noticed everyone giving her concerned looks. "Sorry," she smiled warmly at them. "Let's just get this done."

Duo sighed as people started shuffling papers and grumbling. There hadn't been a rush on the work until earlier in the day, when the papers were demanded by Hilde's supervisor, one Zechs Marquise—God willing, the man would get _hemorrhoids_—so they'd spent the afternoon trying their damndest to get the information in a reasonable order.

"**_A pounding in your head, want your relief? Just come to me instead..._**"

Duo—and just about everyone else—jumped _hard_ as his phone began vibrating across the table-top.

"**_Come to your knees, your pleasure a tease..._**"

Duo snatched the phone up, feeling himself reddening slightly. The music was hard and fast...and loud. He didn't even have the volume up and it was _loud_...and having all of his coworkers hear what he had set for _Wufei's_ ringtone left him a bit flustered.

There were nervous titters up and down the table as he flipped open the phone. "I can't talk right now."

"Duo?" Wufei sounded confused. "Don't hang up yet..."

Duo stopped in the process of doing just that.

"I got a call from Dr. Bastor earlier today," Wufei explained quickly. "Why? What's going on? Are you at work?"

"Yeah," Duo returned quickly. "We're staying late today."

It was the only reason his phone had even rung. He had a timer set to keep the calls silent during normal work hours.

"Oh, sorry," Wufei muttered. "Well...I'll just let you know and let you go. Dr. Bastor said that Heero will probably be getting out in the next week."

Something inside Duo's stomach twisted and sank, shrinking into a ball.

"I suppose you _would_ be speechless," Wufei laughed lightly. "I'll let you go now...call me when you're done."

"Yeah," Duo muttered, blinking blankly at the tabletop.

"All right...bye," Wufei added...and ended the call.

Duo swallowed slightly, closing his phone and setting it back on the table. He put a smile on, looking around at his coworkers, all of whom were watching him with interest. "I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen," he muttered. "I have the work-timer on...and it's after work hours."

"Interesting ringtone," Bartel teased with a grin. "Care to enlighten us as to who that was?"

Duo smirked back at him, feeling himself calm again. "Only Chang Wufei."

That got an almost disbelieving silence.

Duo sniggered and spun his phone where it sat. "I kind of have things to do tonight, gentlemen...shall we get on with this?"

Hilde was studying his face very seriously, and nodded slightly to indicate her agreement. She flicked the wall-screen back on and pulled out the pointer. "If we get in the groove," she muttered, "by the time the pizza gets here we'll be good to go."

Duo nodded along with everyone else, focusing toward the windows that lined the side of the room a moment.

If Heero was about ready to get out of the clinic, then he was better, right? Duo didn't relish the idea of the man being _free_, but things had changed on all sides.

He could do this...he _had_ to do this.

Besides, it wasn't like he had a _choice_.


	7. Good Intentions

**Good Intentions**

I'd been scared when I hadn't gotten the call to head down to the lobby around four in the afternoon like normal, and then when around five, I did get the call. I was about to grump good naturedly about Duo and Wufei making their times so they weren't intruding on each other...but it wasn't Natalie and Duo who showed up at five.

Wufei had informed me that he'd gotten a call from Lucien, and then noted that Duo'd had to work late. That had been a reassurance, but it had been quickly followed by worry.

The insecurity of the shit drove me nuts. Insecurity was _not_ something I normally experienced...

And then Wufei'd dropped the bomb.

A week?

I'd been far too dazed to worry about Nat or Duo at that point. Wufei'd been in one of his hyper moods. He'd added that if I didn't share Quatre's room with him, we were going to have to move—but he wasn't sure how long he'd have legal custody of me. He'd went on about a garden or something that made Quatre start laughing, but I hadn't followed...and then he'd sincerely asked me to _please_ put up with Quatre's crazy ass because his girlfriend would get _pissed_ if they all had to move _**again**_.

I think I agreed...because he'd gotten happy again...but I hadn't paid close attention. Wufei, evidently, had been doing a lot of fast-talking from the start. Around that point, my seeming agreement, Trowa had waltzed into the lobby and taken Amelia into his arms. Quatre'd informed me that I'd have to tolerate them a while, and had proceeded to ask me if I wanted bunk beds.

That had actually made me focus. He'd started laughing delightedly, then settled down and explained that his room was large enough for two twin beds, but it wasn't exactly huge. He'd asked me how often I thought I'd have Nat over, then turned his attention onto Wufei to ask if the main couch was a hide-a-bed. He'd noted to me that once in a while he'd let himself be shunted to the couch, but if we woke him up because we were having sex, he'd kick my ass.

It'd taken me a long moment to realize he was teasing me.

Wufei had cut in at that point, wondering how long his legal hold would be, considering that he still had Quatre. He noted that if it was going to last more than a week or two, we'd all move...and then he and Quatre had disintegrated into an argument about apartments or houses.

Evidently, Wufei was being a jackass about Quatre's gardening.

That had annoyed me, and I'd let Wufei know it. He'd told me to seriously mind my own business, then looked up to see Lucien in the door that led back to the main building.

Why was he so against Quatre having a garden? Quatre _liked_ gardening...

It hadn't been until they'd left that I'd remembered that Natalie hadn't shown up, and it was going on seven already.

It was seven-thirty before I got another call, and I'd all but ran down to the lobby.

Duo looked stressed. Duo'd looked _very_ stressed...he'd apologized to me that he was so late, muttering something about hemorrhoids and bosses...it hadn't made any real sense, and then he'd melted onto the bench on the side of the room.

He'd been watching me...just...watching.

It was eerie to feel his eyes on me as I talked to my girl.

"What?" I'd demanded finally, sharply.

His eyes had narrowed and he'd sat up and looked to his watch. "You talk to me like that again, and I'll kick your fucking ass," he'd snapped.

"I...I'm sorry..."

"Watch your fucking attitude...Nat, let's go."

He'd been signed out and to his car in a moment.

His hostility toward me peaked and dipped low all the time...I'd ask Lucien about that. It was hard to cope with. I wasn't sure what to do about him in general anyway...I was damn grateful to the man, of course, but...but how was I supposed to take _his_ threats to my person? If he actually attacked me, would I defend myself? When we'd fought in that alley before...we'd been equal. If he pissed me off, I wasn't sure if I'd snap and attack him...like before...but if we were equal...

The hostility...it needed dealt with..._some_how...and preferably not in another boxing match.

I was very aware of the fact that he wouldn't discuss it with me. I had a feeling that trying to talk about it would bring him back on the defensive.

Hell, he'd _said_ he wasn't trying to forgive me.

I ran my hands tiredly over my eyes, considering the ceiling.

I didn't want to say anything to Lucien that might make him rethink letting me out, though...

This was why I hated having other people in control of _me_.

I rolled over, considering the far wall.

There was a knock on the door.

I sat up, blinking in confusion. It was eight in the morning on Saturday...

"Heero?" Trowa muttered, sliding into the room in a way that made me wonder if the guard in the hall had seen him. "Hey," he muttered, closing the door.

"Tro?" I returned, blinking. "Hey...what's up?"

"I snuck out to come talk to you quick-like," he explained nonchalantly, shrugging.

I groaned, dropping back on my bed.

He considered my room with interest a moment, sauntering to the bed casually. He sat next to me, which was more on me than not...and stretched, popping his neck.

"You're nuts," I informed him, shoving him over.

He laughed happily, scooting over a good inch. This was followed by another wicked grin. "Not really."

"What?" I asked levelly, noting the look in his eyes...pleasure at some sort of success.

"Acton came in and told me earlier that I'm getting out tonight."

I stared at him.

"I coulda waited and told you at lunch, but I didn't want to wait," he shrugged happily at me. "All this controlled security is driving _me_ nuts...you gotta be out of your fucking mind by now."

I frowned at that, shrugging as I looked away.

He grinned more. "So...yeah. I guess tonight around five or so I'll be released. They decided I _am_ just a bastard," he put on a sad expression, then smirked. "Evidently he doesn't buy the act any more than you do...I thought it was just because you know me."

I grinned at that.

"Amelia was saying...you're getting out next week?"

I shrugged. "Lucien hasn't said anything to me about it yet...but Wufei said as much and Quatre asked if I wanted to share a room with him."

"The apartment only has three," Trowa noted, nodding his head. "Me and Amelia in one, then Quatre and Wufei had their own...but Melia said Juki's moved in now, so that just leaves Quatre lonely...your girl gonna mind?"

I had to snicker at that, giving him a look.

He laughed himself, then looked to the ceiling a long moment. "What should I do," he muttered, becoming serious, "to...with...I don't know what to do about Duo."

I frowned at him, shrugging. "I have no more an idea than you...shit...I don't know, Tro...I'm still trying to figure out what _I_ should do about him."

"Huh?"

"If I even get a little annoyed with him," I explained, looking toward my lap, "he completely bites my head off...and last night he took off five minutes before closing because of it."

"Ah..." Trowa considered it a long moment, then tilted his head. "I think he's still scared of you, you know it? I think its different now though...he's not in a situation where he has to let you control him. Wufei said it enough before, Duo needed to save himself. Now that he's done it, he's not going back. You'll have to figure out a way to express your annoyance without challenging that resolve...and I have no idea how to go about that...granted, you could just knock him around until he stops, though."

I focused on him sharply, narrowing my eyes.

He sniggered slightly. "I know, it's an evil thing to suggest, but I'm easily amused like that and you know it above all else...don't worry, I won't press my shit with other people present, but when it's just me and you..." he shrugged, his eyes still dancing merrily. "You're privy to my real personality and that will never change."

"You're a fucker," I noted, dropping back onto the bed again. "You know that, don't you?"

"Yes, dear," he muttered, caressing my knee.

I jumped hard, slamming my knee into his leg as he jumped back and started laughing wickedly, holding his hands up to defend himself.

"...don't _do_ that!" I snapped at him, scooting over more where I was sitting and rubbing at my leg like his touch had hurt.

He laughed more, then rose to his feet and stretched as absolutely tall as he could with his hands in the air. "I'm gettin' laid tonight," he informed me with a wicked smirk over his shoulder. "Good luck with your...uh..." he looked the room over as if searching for a description.

I glared at him.

He snickered and moved to the door, pulling it open a crack and glancing down the hall. He was gone in a moment, like he'd never shown up.

I grinned slightly, looking my room over as well.

For some reason...I'd always liked Trowa. He was strange, his amusements frequently pissed me off...but life wouldn't be the same without his little annoyances. His moments of whim and random action tended to be amusing in retrospect, and I was already amused that he'd been trying to bother me and succeeded effortlessly...it was kind of sad that he was already going to be leaving.

But at the same time...how long was a week, really?

- -

"You're kidding, right?" Hilde demanded, curling into the chair beside Duo's. Her eyes were concerned as she studied him, and she wasn't sitting in her own chair that was behind the desk. "You're not...he's not..."

Duo nodded glumly, then shook his head as he started rubbing at his temple. "Wufei said...some time next week."

"Do...you want to leave?" she asked quietly. "We can move you and your family out."

He blinked, focusing on her in confusion. It took him a moment to really comprehend what she'd said and why, then he shook his head sharply. "It's not that sort of problem."

"Isn't it?" she retorted irritably, glaring toward her office window. "That's what he called for, yesterday?"

"Yes," Duo agreed. "I'm not _scared_ of him, you know."

She shook her head, not looking at him. She didn't believe it, and she doubted she ever would. Duo could say what he wanted to and mean it just as much as he thought he did, but the fact of the matter was she'd _heard_ him talking about Heero before. There'd been a large chunk of time, two years at least, where he wouldn't even say Heero's _name_.

She really wished he'd let her move him out of London when Heero and the others had first shown up.

But then again...if she'd done that, they probably wouldn't have gotten taken in for psychiatric evaluations.

"No, Hilde," he said firmly. "I'm not _scared_ of him. I'm just not sure if I'm ready to _deal_ with him."

She met his eyes, frowning slightly.

"I have his girlfriend living at my house," he pointed out. "He's going to be _living_ with my best friend...and he pisses me off. He'll give me that _look_," his eyes went distant and his expression soured. "I don't think he even realizes why it bothers me."

"Why _does_ it bother you?" she snapped.

"Because it meant I was in for a bad night," Duo spat back, meeting her eyes. "Usually meant I'd be bleeding before dawn."

She receded where she sat.

"It will _never_ happen again," he spat, looking out the window again. "It doesn't mean I have to be sweetness and light...it doesn't mean I have to be perfectly okay with it," he narrowed his eyes as he met hers again. "So stop worrying about me, all right? I have a family now...I'm a man now. I don't need coddled, and you need to stop saying shit around the others...all right?"

She narrowed her eyes at him again.

"It's not a request," he informed her levelly. "If you persist, I'll take that job Zechs offered me. It's here in town, right?"

"Hey!" she protested, straightening some.

"I really don't like you telling my co-workers that there's some problem in my life," Duo snapped at her. "It's so severely unprofessional that it causes me physical pain, and on top of that, it's none of their damn business as long as it doesn't interfere with our work. I won't warn you again, do you understand me?"

Hilde looked toward her legs, which were hanging over the edge of the chair, and tried to pretend she hadn't started blushing. She knew she'd been in the wrong to make her comments in their meeting, but at the time it hadn't occurred to her.

"Yeah," he noted, considering her seriously. "I had a couple people chasing me down as I was trying to run out the door to ask if things were okay because of that. I was even taken to lunch...we do that shit together, it's a normal routine, but then he was all concerned and asking if everything was okay at home...I was going to _throttle_ you...it was Tarnier...but you'd taken off to meet with Mr. White-head."

Hilde sniggered slightly, meeting his eyes.

"He was all over telling me I could stay with him," Duo added in mock energy. "Explaining that we were all as good as family, and that if any one of us had a problem he'd hoped he'd be the first person we'd call. He went on and on...and on...and on, about it," he lost the fake energy to glower at her.

"Tarnier means well," she reprimanded, grinning slightly at him.

"I know, that's why I explained the problem wasn't a family one...my wife and I are perfectly fine. The issue was a personal matter that you shouldn't have shared. He agreed with me," Duo smirked slightly.

"Haha," she retorted, rolling her eyes at him, then sighed and looked away again. "I'm just not happy about this, all right? I don't see why you take his girl to go see him every damn night, and I don't get why you'd talk to him at all. If that had happened to me..."

"You'd never let it happen to you," he reassured her quietly, looking away. "I shouldn't have let it happen."

"If only it were that easy, huh?" she returned quietly, focusing out the window.

"Amen to that," he noted, then sighed and sat back, looking to the ceiling. "Basically, I want you to know that I'm going to be in a mood for a while—I called my therapist, too. I'm going to meet with him later on today so we can go over my issues again and try to figure out a game plan. It shouldn't interfere with my work more than I'll be a bit despondent."

She nodded.

"I'm not here as your subordinate," he noted, considering her face. He knew his conversation had made this obvious, but he wanted to be sure she understood him. "I'm here as your friend...talking to you as _my_ friend. I know you care and you want the best for me and the rest of the world, but I won't just give you your way until my way stops working."

"And it hasn't?" she asked darkly, looking away from him."

"Depends on your angle," he retorted, then sighed and sat forward and started to rise. "Anyway, Nas wanted me to invite you to supper tomorrow night. She's thinking around six. I'll take Nat in around four or five, so I should be back before you show up," he stopped before turning toward the door. "I'm assuming you're not backing out on this."

Hilde grinned at him a bit and nodded.

"Good," he added, then ran his hands through his hair and looked around. "I'll see you tomorrow then," he nodded his head slightly at her as he started for the door.

"Duo?"

He turned to look back at her.

"My faith has run thin, at least in the old people," she gestured vaguely with her head in a way that translated to her meaning the people from the war. "Can you tell me _why_ you're giving him a second chance?"

Duo considered the door handle under his hand a long moment, then shrugged slightly. "No."

"That's not a satisfactory answer."

"I never said I'd answer your question," he retorted. "Be happy you _got_ an answer."

She tsked irritably.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he added, meeting her eyes with a brief smile. "Vasu will be happy."

She nodded at that, looking away from him a moment. "Duo?"

He stopped, this time with the door open.

"Why should I have faith?"

"Have faith in me," he retorted, starting out the door. "I don't give a rat's ass if you have faith in him. Trust that _I_ know when to pull out."

She nodded once, but had a feeling he didn't see it since the door had shut a moment after she'd done it.

- -

"So we're gonna have dumbass number one back tonight," Wufei muttered, moving out onto the balcony with Quatre. "And in a week or so we'll have dumbass number two."

"Yeah," Quatre agreed, watching the cars pass below them.

"What do you think?"

"I think...that Duo's not happy," Quatre returned, not looking around. "He's okay with Heero getting out on some levels...but he's still scared."

"I would be, too, I imagine," Wufei returned, following the blonde's gaze.

"Should we leave?" Quatre muttered.

"Leave?" Wufei echoed, blinking.

"Shouldn't we take Trowa and Heero away from him?"

"I don't think he'd be happy with that, either," Wufei muttered, looking toward the sky.

"He was happy without us here," Quatre muttered glumly.

"And just as happy with you here and them away," Wufei retorted. "Heero fucked him over and you know it...and Trowa fucked us all over."

"What?" Amelia asked, moving onto the balcony.

"Nothing," Wufei muttered, glancing at her over his shoulder. "Don't worry about it."

She tilted her head at him with interest, then looked to Quatre.

Quatre smiled at her, pulling himself away from his distraction.

"Are we ready to go?" Amelia added, thinking. "It's..."

"It's four, he's getting out at five," Wufei reminded her. "It takes us maybe ten minutes to get there...I know _you're_ eager, but the rest of us..."

She giggled and smacked at him.

"Let's just get ready," Quatre suggested, pushing away from the railing. "It won't hurt us to be early."

"I beg to differ," Wufei muttered dryly as the blond disappeared inside.

"He must not appreciate begging," Amelia muttered, her expression considerate.

Wufei snorted.

"Huh?" she asked blankly, looking back to him.

"Just how good is your grasp on this language?" Wufei demanded.

"Um...do I keep messing up?" she asked, her expression innocently upset.

"No, you don't," Wufei returned, smirking slightly. "You have no idea about the colloquial do you?"

"I...guess...Juki keeps calling me tepid...is that widespread?"

"No, that's her being incredibly special," Wufei retorted, grinning. "Come on...let's go finish getting ready."

- -

E/N: Oh yeah, thanks for the reviews! I don't own Gundam Wing...yeah.


	8. What is Left

**What is Left**

It was strange that almost as soon as Trowa had come, he was gone...but even stranger when Lucien informed me I had a meeting with Acton. I made an effort not to annoy him, and he seemed to be offering me the same favor. Our conversation was careful and controlled on both ends...and when I realized the extent of it, I began to worry that maybe I was being _too_ careful.

Lucien had given me some tips on keeping my annoyance under control...he'd reminded me that I was human and noted that my relationship with Duo would probably never improve. It seemed pretty dire until I'd met up with he and Natalie that evening. Our conversation was careful as I realized that he was being just as delicate with me as I was with him...and that made it a lot easier.

There was going to be stress in my getting out, there was no way to avoid that. I still had to process my guilt, but things would get easier...they _had_ to get easier.

I shook my head, shoving the last of my clothes into my bag, turning to sit on the bed and look around.

I could sort of understand why I hadn't been allowed to decorate the place to my liking. It wasn't supposed to be my home, it was supposed to be where I got help. I didn't need to _stay_ there, and as such shouldn't get too connected to the room I slept in. It made sense, for all that it had bothered me—it had seemed like such a _sterile_ place.

Whoever got the room next could have it.

I grinned slightly, rising to my feet.

Hopefully, I could escape from this hell...

My paperwork was done, everything was arranged, including my meeting with another therapist in a few day's time. All I had to do was walk down the hall, sign the release form...and then I was _vaulting_ the damn wall at the end.

I didn't have to _wait_ for anyone anymore.

- -

Duo's nerves were fried as he stood with the others in the foyer. Wufei was crossing t's and dotting i's on some paperwork...and Natalie was to one side of him bouncing where she stood...with both Juki and Amelia.

It had never been explained to him why Juki was present, but he wasn't horribly worried about it. It could of just been that she, Amelia, and Natalie got along.

Nassaiya, meanwhile, had resigned herself to her husband's nonsense, and had even suggested Quatre and Natalie changing places once in a while until the loose ends had all resolved themselves.

It was strange that everything had worked out, but the stress was true enough.

There was a fuss in the hall, which had Wufei focusing instantly toward the end of the thing and the divide between the hall and the foyer.

Heero appeared a breath later, sailing smoothly through the air with a wicked grin on his lips before he landed in a crouch and looked up at the group of his friends.

Duo stepped back slightly, more a shift of his weight—he'd been greeted with that same jump before, when trying to get away. Natalie, Juki, and Amelia were laughing as Trowa rolled his eyes and Wufei raised an eyebrow.

"What are you doing?!" Natalie protested, darting forward to hug him.

"I just wanted it damn clear that his isn't a barrier," he retorted, smacking the wall as she moved into his arms.

"You are absolutely impossible," Lucien noted, jogging through the visitor room and moving into the foyer to give Heero a look. "Do you know that?"

Heero smiled at him, holding the girl even tighter.

"Here's this," Wufei muttered, passing the clipboard to the man. "Is that good?"

Lucien studied the thing perfunctorily and nodded his head, looking around at them all again before rolling his eyes slightly. "We'll be well rid of you, Mr. Yuy."

"I'll miss him," the woman worker retorted. "He gave us just enough chaos to make work amusing."

"I did nothing of the sort," Heero protested at her good-naturedly.

"Sure...sure...make your escape, Mr. Yuy...the door is there on the left," she pointed toward the exit.

Heero flashed her a grin, then turned and nodded his head respectfully to Lucien...and turned to spin around the group and dart out the door.

"We should go run him around the block," Wufei muttered dryly to Quatre, sidelong. "Have a good day, Dr. Bastor...take care of yourself."

"Of course, Mr. Chang," Lucien agreed, nodding his head specifically at Duo. "Have patience...maybe even some faith."

"Sorry, I'm a cynic," Duo retorted, then turned to follow Amelia from the building. She and Juki had darted after Natalie.

"Bye, Dr. Bastor," Quatre muttered, flicking a salute at the man as he followed Wufei and Trowa. "Hope to never see you again."

The man grinned at that, then turned to head back for the office.

- -

"We should go somewhere with people," I muttered, looking around the apartment. It was a nice thing with space. It was probably going to fall short of the six of us living in it, but that was only going to last until I could get my own place. That would probably be three months, as long as I kept my ducks in a row.

"With people?" Duo asked dryly, considering me from where he'd flopped on the couch. "You're kidding, right?"

"Why?" I asked, stopping to actually consider him.

"You realize that I have to be around people all day, don't you?" a hint of a grin appeared on his lips. "Going to the mall doesn't entirely appeal to me, especially since my wife and boys will get upset."

"Bring them?" I offered hesitantly. Duo's wife hadn't come up much in conversation with him—at least no more than it took for him to reference her. I'd definitely gotten the impression from the others that _she_ didn't forgive me.

The one person with the reaction I'd expected was the one person I didn't know.

I didn't even really _want_ to meet her, I had the feeling she'd tear me a new asshole if she got the chance...but I didn't want Duo knowing that, and I did want to meet his boys.

"You're not serious," Wufei protested, moving in from the kitchen to stare at me. "I love Nassaiya to death now...but she's got a grudge against him," he pointed at Trowa, "and you're the devil incarnate," he indicated me.

Duo wasn't looking at anyone when I glanced at him.

"She reamed me out for an hour when I first showed up, and she understood that I didn't have the means to stop the shit going on..."

"It just seemed like the thing to do," I noted, looking down. "I mean..."

"For all that she had me bring Nat back," Duo muttered, sitting forward, "that was for Nat, not for you...I think it's a bad idea."

"I'm going to have to insist on the bad idea," Wufei noted firmly, moving to stand behind the couch. "Duo can head home and we can drop Quatre off tonight so you two can have the room."

"Nice of you to ask if I care," Quatre noted from where he was looking out the balcony window.

"Do you care?" Wufei asked him half skeptically.

"No," Quatre retorted.

Wufei rolled his eyes, moving around the couch to plop next to Duo. "We want to barbecue tomorrow," he added. "I figured your boys can go play and hopefully Nas won't tear into any of us."

"I'll see what she says," Duo noted skeptically.

"I can...talk to her...alone," I offered quietly, not looking at either of them.

"Yeah, the whole alone thing," Duo noted, meeting my eyes pointedly. "Not gonna happen."

I looked away from him.

"Don't be an ass," Wufei elbowed him.

Duo shrugged, then sighed and sat forward. "Nat?"

"Yeah?" Natalie moved from the kitchen.

"I'm gonna head home for the night...Wufei was saying they could just have Quatre at the house, so you can spend the night."

She laughed a little.

"I'll bring Quatre over tomorrow and some clothes for you...I'm sure Juki has underwear she hasn't worn you can borrow."

"I don't lend underwear, Duo," Juki retorted happily.

"I have some!" Amelia called.

"I have lots!" Juki agreed.

"Why?" Wufei asked, turning to look at the woman curiously. "You don't wear them under the kimono."

All three females started laughing.

He grinned, looking back to Duo.

"I'll be back tomorrow," Duo muttered, rising tiredly and pulling out his wallet. He dropped a few bills in Wufei's lap. "Get her what she needs..."

"You don't have to do that," I protested, blinking at the money.

"You don't have access to your accounts until you can call in and verify them. It's five now...if you call really fast you might get it, but I'm thinking you're stuck until tomorrow, and if you're all going to the mall..." he blinked, then pulled his wallet out.

He dropped a sizable note into Wufei's lap.

"I'll pay you back," I muttered as he started for the door.

"Don't bother," he muttered, then looked around. "I'm going to order us some pizza," he noted to Quatre. "The boys probably won't go to bed until eleven...try to get in before that."

Quatre nodded in response, and Duo disappeared out the door.

"Why do I get the distinct impression he just walked out of my life?" I muttered quietly to Wufei.

"Well..." Wufei rose to his feet as well, tucking the money into his wallet without looking at me. "We should go shopping if we're going."

For some reason...that wasn't a very reassuring response to my question. "Hey, guys? Want to go to the mall?"

"Yes!" three women squeaked in unison.

"If we must," Trowa agreed, moving from his bedroom.

"Yeah," Quatre agreed, looking back around the apartment. "You can drop me off at Duo's on the way back from shopping."

"All right," Wufei muttered, turning to look around the apartment. "All right...let's go."

**_End_**

**E/N:** Okay...so this story's escape was Heero getting out...not nearly so great or fanciful as I'd have preferred, but sometimes that's how my stories go, lol. I do have one final story intended, but at this point it's not more than a few unconnected ideas that have as yet to make a whole picture. I'll try to get that up eventually, and it'll be a summation of all the pilots and their hereafter...so yeah.


End file.
